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My raider has gone to rainbow Bridge

For help and support with the passing of a pet. Sometimes we feel very alone. We're not alone.

My raider has gone to rainbow Bridge

Postby raiders mom » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:50 am

My courageous little Tzu dog Raider lost his battle with the throat infection he had been fighting on January 14th. We took him to visit Dr. Bill on two different occasions for this infection. The first time was on January 2nd and then again on the 11th. The Dr. gave a shot and pills the first time and he seemed to be responding well. He was eating and playing and being his usual self for a few days then he started coughing and choking again so I took him back and he got another shot and different pills but he just could not shake it. He had become so weak he could hardly stand and would only drink a little bit when I begged and coaxed and would only eat a bite or two when I would plead with him to please eat. Sunday night neither of us slept much because he would cough and gasp for breath and I would hold him up and try to sooth him. Monday evening he would not take his pill, disguised as a piece of cheese so I tried my best to get it down his little throat but was unable to. I promised him I would not put him through it any longer. I could tell he was only hanging on for me and I felt so bad. Tuesd I I ask the Dr. if there was ANYTHING we could do and when the Dr. told me "no there is nothing else I can do for him" I knew I had to make the hardest decision of my life, so I ask the Dr. if he could please help him cross over to Rainbow Bridge. I broke my heart but I knew he was hurting and was just too old and weak to fight anymore. I held him in my arms as they gave him the shot and told him it would be OK, to go ahead and that I loved him. I told him I would be OK but I'm NOT OK!!! I feel like I murdered my best friend. I miss him so much. I have cried myself to sleep every night since then, laying there in my bed alone. My house feels so empty now and I dread coming home from work. I miss his wet nosed kissed and having him there, so happy to see me. I don't think this ache in my heart will ever go away. I LOVE YOU Little Tzu... there will NEVER be another like you. Wait for me at the Bridge with your Sister Pilea and someday I'll come and we can all go "home" together.
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Re: My raider has gone to rainbow Bridge

Postby BendyMom » Thu Jan 30, 2014 11:48 am

I know that ache :( that horrible feeling.
what you are describing happened to him sounds a lot like what happend to my Baby (big fat baby cat). he was sick with lymphoma, but he was actually doing ok with that, then he got som ehorrible infection where he was gasping, choking, just like you describe. meds worked for a bit then wouldn't.

it's a horrible thing to watch them go through and I made the same decision you did, it was clear he couldn't go on, he was losing and it would be selfish to try and keep him here.

It takes time for the screaming pain to ease but eventually it dulls. I took a month off work after Bendy died.
many hugs to you in this awful time.
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Re: My raider has gone to rainbow Bridge

Postby CarolC » Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:46 am

It is hard when an older pet (or human) gets influenza or pneumonia or any infection. If he was 9 years old in December 2008, he must have been 14 when you lost him. I looked up the average life span for shih tzus and found it was 13 years 2 months. It is never long enough, but he did have his full lifespan, thanks to your care all these years. He was not lost due to any disability, he passed away at the end of a long life. We wish and wish and wish they would pass away quietly in their sleep, one morning you find them curled up under their blanket with a peaceful look on their face, but in my experience that does not happen often, more often it is something unexpected like this, and it leaves you traumatized. But it is important to step back and remind yourself, he had his full life. It doesn't make not having him beside you any easier, but he got his full life that was his destiny. He had his full, long life, because of your care. It is a victory. We always know they cannot live forever, but we don't think about it, because we are too busy enjoying every day to the fullest. Enjoying every day to the fullest is the best thing you can do, but then you are left in shock when you are suddenly parted. He will wait for you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Re: My raider has gone to rainbow Bridge

Postby critters » Fri Jan 31, 2014 9:48 am

I'm sorry for your loss. :(
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Re: My raider has gone to rainbow Bridge

Postby Christine » Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:37 am

I am so sorry....I feel the loss...we all do. You gave him love, care, a beautiful life and he returned that love tenfold. My prayer for you is that the pain you feel now will be replaced with the precious memories you shared and that, perhaps Raider will send you another little soul to fill that empty space in your heart. Please take care of yourself.
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Re: My raider has gone to rainbow Bridge

Postby raiders mom » Fri Mar 21, 2014 3:17 pm

I want to thank you all for the support you have shown. I still miss him so much that I cry on a daily basis. I know I did what was best but it still breaks my heart every time I think about the trusting look he gave me when I was holding him before Dr. Trevor gave him the shot. My husband is not very understanding about my feelings. He's the type that thinks you should be tough, but I'm not tough. I was tough when Raids was recovering from his car accident, I just can't be tough now. He won't allow me to get another little dog either. He says he doesn't want to have to go through this again with me. I think it is extremely selfish of him. I think another little soul to love and love me back is what I need. Maybe with time I will get over the worst of the pain but the scar will always remain. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.... Kathy...Raiders Mom
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Re: My raider has gone to rainbow Bridge

Postby BendyMom » Fri Mar 21, 2014 6:02 pm

as we get closer to the second anniversary of Bendy's death i find myself missing him more and more and gettiing teary eyed. mourning takes a long time.
i do think another little soul is good to help heal. i'm sorry your hubby is being a selfish pig. some people just don't understand :(

many purrrrrrrrs to you
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Re: My raider has gone to rainbow Bridge

Postby Christine » Sat Mar 22, 2014 6:17 am

Kathy, I so know where you are right now (we all do), but when we lost Watson and then Bailey, my husband made the same proclamation and reminds me that when Penny is gone, there will be no more. They see what we went through in the loss and, much as they don't want to show it, they felt the loss too. (He sobbed with me at their losses.)

They think they are protecting us from ourselves and they really don't see how that comes across. Like a lot of "typical men", they are just "taking care of business". Now, that being said, when Penny showed up a few months before Bailey died, my husband was the one secretly feeding her and bonding with her as she followed him all over the property on a daily basis, sleeping in a shed in the pasture. She crept into our hearts knowing she had a job to do. This dog, who "we needed to find a home for", who "will be an outside dog" who "is not allowed in the bedroom" is his Velcro dog outside all day, has a double fluffy bed in the living room and a second bed on the floor next to our bed at night. (Last year, she started sneaking in after he fell asleep and going back to her bed just before he woke up.) Now, she is right behind whoever goes to bed first.

I can only speak from my perspective of 50 years with the same man, but sometimes you just have to let them "do their thing" knowing that they will eventually come around, but, every now and then, when the time is right you might need to have a "come to Jesus talk". When it gets to that point with us, I write him a letter because I get so emotional, I can't make my point. In 50 years, I've written him 3 letters...the last one was about Penny.

I truly believe that another little soul we need and who needs us makes their way into our lives at the right time. For us, she showed up before we knew we needed her. I am crying for my Bailey as I write this and, last week, I cried at my sweet memories of Watson gone nearly 15 years. You need to grieve for Raider and we are here for you - it will get better, I promise you. In your grief, you need to remind yourself that you gave him unconditional love and care and a life worth living. That same love let him go when it was time, the last and most unselfish thing you can do for a friend. :grouph:
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