Help! Losing my mind with all of this pee

[zolla]

My dog Bubby has been incontinent for 3 years now. Some days it's fine, and other days I want to tear my hair out. Today is a tear my hair out day. I just need some encouragement. I need to know there are others out there like us who are dealing with this situation.

She is a big dog, and it has never worked to put her in diapers. She just slips right out of them, and also it makes poop clean up much harder. So, we express her several times a day, and wipe up when she has accidents. Some days I can't believe I'm living like this. All our friends and family think we are nuts.

I'm ready to find a new home for her, but who wants a handicapped dog? Also, my husband will not even consider giving her away. Putting her down has never been an option.

HELP!

[CarolC]

Hi zolla,

Really...I think diapers are the answer. You can deal with the problem of making poop cleanup easier by being sure there is an adequate hole in the tail area for it to fall out. And you can be sure the poop that might land on the floor is no problem by feeding a diet that yields quality stools (firm, non sticky, non smelly, don't stain the carpet) like Science Diet w/d dry.

The keeping them on is the real trick. The best way I know is to put her in a standard nylon chest harness, and clip the back waist of the diaper to that. Here is a photo from the Dogs To Go website. You can see how they keep her diaper on with an elastic strap. I don't know if that's a strap for keeping an ironing board cover on, or for holding a tablecloth on a picnic table, or a man's suspenders or what.

http://www.dogstogo.net/

Liebchensgoingforawalk.jpg (37.75 KiB) Viewed 985 times

One of the cart companies has a support sling (fits similar to a diaper) that doubles as a saddle for the cart and the dog is supposed to be able to wear it all day. My complaint was always that it did not stay on my dog. They finally came out with a black strap that clips the sling onto a dog's chest harness, which might be exactly what you need to keep her diaper on. I can't find it right now when I try to look on the website. If Bobbie doesn't post the link by tomorrow I will try again to find it.

So anyway, I think you need three things (to save your sanity, and I *do* sympathize, I couldn't deal with all that clean up either)

1) diaper with big tail hole
2) diet for good stools
3) suspender

They also make diapers with sewn-on suspenders but I think the elastic clip kind would be easier. Here is a link to the readymade kind if you prefer. There may be some other links I can give you but I need to get to pretty soon...will think better tomorrow morning.

http://www.joybies.com

[Christine]

Hi Zolla,

Do you also know how to express for poop...we call it "poop on demand" and it is actually simpler than expressing for urine.

We have an entire section on diapers, their measurements and the animals they work for and ideas for keeping diapers on.

Have you had Bubby checked for a UTI? If she is being expressed regularly and still having accidents, her bladder may be overflowing.
You can tell you have or are close to a burnout andthat is normal for someone who cares for handicapped pet or human. Do you have any help? We all need a break now and then.

One of the other moderators or I will come back tomorrow and give you links about the "poop on demand", the diapers and also an article about caretaker burnout. Wish I could send you a masseuse, some herbal tea, candles and relaxing music. Bless you for taking good care of Bubby.

[Bobbie]

I haven't seen what Carol mentioned so can't post a link.

But I have seen dogs using clips from harness to diaper which seems to work well. But I agree, maybe more frequent expressing is a better solution. If she is dripping between expressions, maybe ask the vet about DES or Proin to see if it helps (it can make it too hard to express so you'd have to try it and see.) Females can have normal spay incontinence which is easily treatable, though.

I also agree on expressing poop- and timing feedings so you know just when to expect it. Using a high-quality food helps, too, reduces the size of stools. (Unless, like mine, your dog snacks on rabbit pellets!)

And I agree on the need for a break if you can find someone to take her while you go away for a weekend. That can be very difficult, I know, but even boarding for a few days at the vet might be a help.

[CarolC]

http://www.walkaboutharnesses.com/products/suspenders-for-rear-harness

Thanks, Bobbie. I was wrong, it wasn't part of a wheelchair, it was part of a Walkabout Harness. And I don't think it's going to be the easy fix I hoped, because it requires a buckle on the diaper part to latch the suspender into. I use diaper covers with my dog and would be able to sew on a buckle, but I don't think I'd want to because I wash each diaper after one day of wear, and they get washed in the machine with the pet laundry, and I don't know how long the buckles would hold up with all the sudsing and agitating. Bummer. However, the suspender is a great idea for their harness.


Here are some searches for possible solutions in Amazon.

"Metal clips elastic"
http://www.amazon.com/Allegra-Ladies-El ... ps+elastic

braces.jpg (23.89 KiB) Viewed 977 times

"Military shirt garters"
http://www.amazon.com/Shirt-Stays-Garte ... ry+garters

military-shirt-stays.jpg (24.38 KiB) Viewed 978 times

"Bed sheet clips"
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_ ... eets+clips

"Ironing board fasteners" (These are $1.99, you wouldn't lose much if they don't work.)
http://www.amazon.com/Essentials-Ironin ... +fasteners

[zolla]

Thanks for all the replies! What helps more than anything is remembering that we are not alone.

The poop has never bothered me. I happily pick it up with toilet paper as soon as she goes and toss it in the toilet. We sometimes light incense after an especially smelly poop because that kills the smell. By the time the incense is done burning, the poop smell is gone too. I think I'm going to try the Science Diet though. Her poop is solid but stinky.

Bubby is able to hold her pee for the most part. She doesn't dribble. She just has accidents, usually only when she gets excited or has been alone too long. We had a system going before we moved, and just need to get a new routine down with the new house and new jobs. We'll get there. One thing that helps is putting her on the bed during the day when we are gone. We cover our bed with 3 layers of waterproofing (plastic, then 2 waterproof covers). If she has to go, the cover soaks it up and she has room on our king size bed to move away from it. So, it's kind of like diapers, only much bigger, and she can stay dry.

I think the thing that gets to me is when I'm walking around the house and smell urine somewhere but I can't find it. Sometimes it is on her, but sometimes there will be a smell for weeks that I just can't locate. It's usually not overwhelming, just embarrassing when you think about having friends over. We have air fresheners going in every room, and no longer have carpet, so clean up is easy...if I can find the source of the pee, I can get rid of the smell, but without diapers, sometimes she goes somewhere and I don't know about it. My husband is less diligent about thoroughly cleaning the area. I know this is sounding gross. It's not as bad as it sounds.

I think with the stress of moving, and then dealing with Bubby getting excited and peeing more because of the new kitten in the house, it sent me over the top there for a few days. I will be ok. We do need to find a good dog sitter. Anyone know someone in Nashville? We'd like to get away for Thanksgiving if we can.

Thanks again for the support and encouragement.

[zolla]

We tried suspenders once and she got all tangled up in them. I think maybe leaving her on the bed with waterproofing is the best solution for during the day, then maybe diapers when we are with her. I might try suspenders again.

[Christine]

Glad you are feeling a little better. Here is the link about Caregiver Syndrome http://www.specialneedspets.org/caregvrs.htm

We have a source listing of out of state pet sitters. I will be back with that link.

[Christine]

Here is the pet sitters resource by state. Hope you find a good one so you can take a much needed vacation.

http://www.handicappedpets.com/index.ph ... guide.html

[CarolC]

I think the thing that gets to me is when I'm walking around the house and smell urine somewhere but I can't find it. Sometimes it is on her, but sometimes there will be a smell for weeks that I just can't locate.

Ha! For that there is a solution. It is a black light. You close the curtains and turn off all the lights and walk around with this black light "flashlight" and the urine spots (and other "organic" spots) will GLOW IN THE DARK! Great invention. They sell big ones like this, and they sell inexpensive little ones that will also do the job. I have had this one for a number of years but I'm sure they still sell them. Got mine at PetsMart in the same display as the pet urine cleaning solutions (like Nature's Miracle or Simple Solution.)

We had a system going before we moved, and just need to get a new routine down with the new house and new jobs. We'll get there.

That is the absolute truth, we went through the same thing when we moved. Before we moved, I did not appreciate how 1) the old house was so easy for caring for a disabled dog, or 2) we just had our routine so finely tuned at the old house. Not sure which, maybe it was both. I had thought it through, of course, but I guess with a disabled pet little differences are big differences and you have to find some other adjustment that works.

[zolla]

That is encouraging to hear that you went through the same thing with a move. Yes, the layout of the house does make a difference! At our old house, we made a simple move of the location of one of our couches, and it made all the difference. It gave her better access to get to the LR from the Bedroom and back, cutting down on accidents.

I got a black light a few days ago. It's hard to get the house dark enough for it to work, but I did manage to find a spot in the bathroom.

[Christine]

If you are like me, one of the 20 times a night you wake up, use that light

[zolla]

Good idea!

I'm feeling more at peace about our situation now than I think I ever have, thanks to everyone's encouragement, a few changes to my home, some ideas to try (I got the science diet food today. ), and some serious soul searching. In the moment I freaked out, but now that I'm calmed down, it just feels like I was being selfish. The big turning point was when someone I had talked to about finding her a home said she would actually work on it, and I couldn't bear the thought of someone taking her. She is the sweetest friendliest dog you will ever meet and has blessed many people.

This thought helps me too. This is a quote from Gianna Jessen, a girl who survived an abortion and now is a public speaker on human rights. She said, "There are things we can only learn from the weakest among us. When we snuff them out, we are the ones that suffer." Bubby has taught me more than I realize and she's not done teaching me yet.

[Christine]

Now, you went amd made me cry! What a true statement!

I am so glad you found us...the saying about it taking a village applies to emotions too. Sometimes, we all need to say those things "out loud" and have confirmation that we are not alone in this. You are not alone...we are here for you and you will be there for someone else.