News: Update on Daizy :(

[Audrea]

I just wanted to let everyone know that I appreciate all the great advice I recieved here on the board you are wonderful pet parents and your babies are lucky to have you.

However, we put our baby down this evening. She took a turn for the worse last night and her paralysis had spread to her front legs as well. It was horrible to see her like that and she was in obvious pain and soo pitiful. The vet met me this evening and we sent her to doggie heaven where I know that she is happy and healthy chasing birds and rabbits like she loves to do..She will forever have a special place with me and my family.

Audrea

[Carol T.]

Oh Audrea...I am SO sorry to hear that! You tried, and as someone on here has said...they will let you know when it's time. You were a good mom!!!

[Cody's Mom]

Audrea,

Oh my, I am so sorry to hear about that Daizy taking the downward turn. That must be so hard for you to bear after your e-mail yesterday about being hopeful for her recovery.

I really admire your courage in being able to do what you felt was right for Daizy. I know that is an incredibly difficult decision. It is one none of us every want to have to make. I am still in shock after having to let Cody, the love of my life, move on to the bridge exactly 4 weeks ago today. It is a really hard call to make, even when you know it is in the best interest of your beloved. I have read in several books and it is so true that in order to relieve our pets of pain and suffering, we must choose to accept our own by letting them go. That is so true and one of few things that gets me through each day. I know I am hurting incredibly, but if I weren't hurting now, it would be Cody that was hurting. I think this will give you some comfort and peace when you can't stand not having Daizy by your side. You can remember her suffering and realize that you chose to accept your own in order to relieve her of her pain and suffering. It is an excrutiatingly painful thing to do, yet so honorable when your pet is suffering.

I send you all my love and compassion in this very difficult time for you and your family. May you be at peace as Daizy is now also. I am sure that Cody bounced up to meet and greet her in his loving and overzealous way he always did in his younger year. One couldn't ask for a better friend than the Code Man.

Much love to you and your family from
Cody's forever proud Mom

[GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily]

I am so very sorry for your loss and so glad to know how blessed you were to have her , and she you.
Tears today for your loss.

[Dianne]

Dear Audrea,

We really hoped for the best for your Daizy, but there are some things that medicine just can't fix. I am so VERY sorry for your loss.

I especially agree with what Cody's Mom said about letting go... and accepting their suffering as our own. You allowed Daizy to have peace. Wishing you well.

In sympathy,

Dianne

[connie]

my heart goes out to you. god bless.

hugs from connie and cricket

[MaryAnn]

Audrea---I am SOOOO sorry for the loss of your baby Daizy. It is a VERY difficult decision to make. Daizy has peace now and knows she was loved so very much!! Take care and God bless you as you grieve through this time. Love, MaryAnn and Oscar!!

[Mary and Roxy]

So sorry for your loss..It's a hard thing to do, shes lucky you had the strength to do it..
Mary and Roxy ;o>~

[Cody's Mom]

Hi Audrea,

Just wondered how you and your kids are doing today. Please know that you and your family will be in my thoughts every day as you go through your grieving process for Daizy.

Much love,

Cody's forever proud Mom

[Audrea]

Cody's Mom,

You are soo sweet.. I am doing as well as I can. I haven't seen my hubby in over 48hrs because of his work schedule but he is due home this evening. I have Daizy buried in our back yard but (don't laugh) we haven't had her funeral yet... Both my boys will be here Friday and Greg (hubby) will be here too and we are having a funeral... My youngest has already invited my mom and sister and insists on buying her an arrangement of Daisies for her service. We are all dealing in our way.. You guys have been soo great!!!

[eieiohmy]

[Cody's Mom]

Hi Audrea,

I am definitely NOT laughing about you having a funeral for Daizy. I think that is a very honorable and respectful thing to do for Daizy, not only a VERY healthy experience for your children. I think that is very healthy for them as they experience and learn about losing a loved one and the grieving process. It also teaches them to show the same love and respect to our pets as we do our human family members. And by all means, I would let your child go with you to the store and let he/she pick out the daisies he/she wants. Maybe even let your child have the cash and actually give the money to the cashier as you go through the check out line. Then your child (name?) will feel as if that is their contribution to Daizy and her funeral. It will be a last loving gift to her. I think letting you child be a part of her funeral will be very healthy to help him/her heal. Maybe even have them write a note to Daizy and read at her funeral. I don't know your children's ages, but if they aren't old enough to read and write, you could help them write it and read it for them or whatever. Unfortunately, this won't be their last encounter with death and the best thing you can do is help them with their greiving process while you also try to deal with it yourself. And I am sure it is tough for all of you to have to go through this with your husband out of town. I think it is a wonderful idea to wait till he gets home and then have a funeral with all the family together. It will be a healthy experience for all of you and give Daizy the love and respect she deserves after serving your family so faithfully till the end. So I'm definitely not laughing, but might be frowning if you were to just brush Daizy's passing off as so many people do. That just teaches our children (who are our future of course) to be insensitive and uncaring as so many people are now days.

I think buying the flowers and maybe writing a poem or story would be a great learning and healing experience for your children. Since you already buried her, maybe you could even put a favorite toy in a glass jar or plastic bag atop her grave. After Daizy's service, maybe the children would even like to be involved in going to buy sod to put on her grave. All this would be so healthy and good to teach them that death does not stop love and that just because they can't see Daizy anymore, that doesn't mean they can't love and remember her forever. And putting flowers or sod or toys or whatever on her grave will be "taking care" of her and showing her love in their own special way. Of course, if any of this bothers the children, it isn't the right thing to do, but if they want to, by all means, let them.

I lost my Dad when I was 10 years old. Dad was just 38. I know Mom had us out at the cemetery planting daffodils. It was something we could do to feel like we were making things pretty for Dad.

Also, my Mom died just 3 weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer. We kept hoping Mom was going to recover, but she didn't. My brother's ex-wife, thought it was best that my niece and nephew not see their grandma in the shape she was in and kept thinking she would let them visit when Mom got better. Unfortunately, Mom didn't get better. So they didn't know Mom was sick until the day before she died. My little niece, (she was 7 at the time) said that since she didn't get to do anything for her Mammy while she was sick, she wanted to do something for her at her funeral. She said she wanted to play a song on her piano for her Mammy at her funeral and she did.

Often times kids deal with death better than we do as adults. I think it is more healthy for them when we let them show their love and express their feelings for the deceased. Many people want to shield children from death, but unfortunately, they cannot be shielded from death their whole life. They will face death and have to deal with it eventually. I think adults want to shield children from death because it hurts them to see the child hurt. But I think sometimes the child ends up feeling cheated later if they aren't allowed to attend a funeral or view the deceased or whatever. I know I am still mad that they never let me see my Dad right after he passed away. They hauled him off and the next time we saw him was at the funeral home. I felt robbed of being able to see my Dad the last time at home.

Just remember most kids cope much better than we think they will, but it is really important to let them be involved if they want to be. If they don't want to be, don't force them. Just as we adults, all children are unique and have their own ways of dealing with things.

If you think you need it, I think I have seen some children's books to read to the child about when a family pet dies. I'll try to find the names of the books.

Also, I think there is a link on this site for markers if you think you want a marker for Daizy. Not sure about the ones on this site, but I think some places you can get a small stone marker for as little as $100. That might be something the kids would like to help pick out.

I wish you and yours the best in dealing with Daizy's crossing over. I know she will be very honored with her funeral service. That is a very nice thing to do and well deserved. Hopefully, your husband getting home will give you and the kids some much needed support.

Much love and best wishes from
Cody's forever proud Mom

[Carol T.]

Kathy, what you said is perfect! Years ago I did a lengthy research paper on children and death, and you said much of what I said in my paper. In Victorian times, many children died at birth, and people were put to death publicly, with children often witnessing. Children knew about death, but nothing about sex. Nowadays we've reversed that!! Death is a natural part of life, let we try to shield children from it. My babies are buried in my flower garden, with a statue of St. Francis looking over them. Instead of a marker, I bought something that looks like granite, that says, "If tears could build a stairway..." There's more to it than that, but I'm sure most of you have seen that in catalogs. Having a funeral is a wonderful idea to honor Daizy and to afford some closure.

[Weeble's :o~ mom Beth]

If tears could build a stairway & memories a lane
I'd walk right up to heaven & bring you home again.