Dogs: Opinion, PLEASE

[Stephanie]

Me again, no more bad news, thankfully. First off, I want to thank everybody that has helped me over the past few days. I want to thank all of you who wrote me some kind words and even those of you who just read about Tama and just thought of us. It is still hard, but the shock is wearing off and the grieving is dimming. We will always love Tama and I will cherish him always. My husband is not doing so well. He is coping, he has not cried, I've been bawling, but my husband is just depressed. He is the one that I had to convince getting Missy was a good thing and he laid with Missy on our bed for about three hours last night just petting her and telling her how sorry he is. Missy is depressed also. I really think she is. She does not want to come out of the bedrooms and she will look at Tama pen outside as if she wants to say "Come on Tama, LET'S PLAY!!" Only Tama does not come out anymore. They can't wrestle in front of the tv anymore. Here is my newest predicament. My husband is adament that he NEEDS another puppy. We are getting one. I did not want one. He can't stop his depression unless he has his "faithful companion". Missy is going to need a new friend, he says. Missy is a great dog, but she is not the type to chase balls and walk with Corey around the yard while he inspects the fruit trees. My husband loved Tama. He said it is amazing how much he missed getting Tama up and around in the morning. I have some incredibly high standards as far as dogs go, I just want to love this puppy, but I'm the type that I would have rather waited and Corey needs one now. I know there are diff opinions, some people say to get another puppy right away, others say to wait. Unfortunately, in our family, there is one of each opinions. We will pick up our new family member tonight. My husband could not sleep last night. We are naming him Monty. He is another German Shepherd and is going to be Missys new best friend. Poor Missy, that poor animal has been through too much. We are her fifth family, at least, she has been hit by a train, lost her front right leg, now her best friend is gone. I hope the puppy brings her out of her depression. She was depressed when we first brought her home and Tama made her transition soooo incredibly smooth. He is forever a saint in my book.

Thanks again,
Stephanie Missy and forever Tama

[kruzen55]

hi,

i pretty much have always had two dogs. when my lhasa apso (cricket) died my other dog, a cock-a-poo (bear), went into deep depression. she did not eat or drink for 4 days (no exageration). my husband would try to rough her up to play and she just wanted to sit in the corner and be sad.

i told my husband that i didn't want another dog right away because my lhasa and i were so close (she was with me during my divorce and single years), but for my cock-a-poo we would have to do something.

we went that night and got Buffy a cocker spaniel, as soon as i got home we let Bear outside, she sniffed Buffy ran in the house got a cookie, took a drink and peed in 4 different places in the yard. Bear was fine after that. I personally put up a little wall not letting Buffy in for awhile until I got over my cricket. But Buffy was a blessing, she's tight in our hearts for sure and now she is 13 years old and reaching her end....even though you'd never know!

So my opinion, of course, is jump in and go get that new puppy. it will bring joy to all of you and your little missy too!

take care and we want to see pictures of the new addition.

susan

[Stephanie]

Hi Susan,

Thanks for your response. I feel like you did...I feel like I'm not ready and I know I am not going to allow myself to bond immediately with our new family member. I will play with him and be good to him, my heart is just not going to belong to him just yet. I will need time. Who knows, maybe he will attach himself to my heart right away, but since we don't have him yet, I won't know. I hope Missy comes out of her depression. Missy is a grown dog, this is an 8 week puppy, so their playtime will be quite awhile. Unless, they can figure out a way to play. My husband and I were laughing, Poor Missy, this puppy will probably try to nurse off of her, hahaha.

Stephanie Missy and forever Tama

[kruzen55]

stephanie,

when we got molly our buffy was 9 years old and was pretty much a little couch potato....for the first few days she wouldn't even come in the same room that molly was in, then all of the sudden she even broke down and came in and was pulling molly around the carpet by a toy. it was the funniest thing. now buffy is 13 years old and molly is 4 and they play every night. it's so funny even though molly is the handicapped one she still wins getting the balls and toys. but buffy sure tries like heck and sometimes triumphs.

give missy and yourself a little time and your new pup will enter both of your hearts.

molly and buffy are together in about a 4 x 3 foot space while we are at work and i have them on a live webcam so i can view them at work. they lay together sleeping practically on top of each other....they are so sweet.

if you want to view them, you can go to www.kruzen55.ww.com monday-fridays from about 6:30am - 4:00pm....anyone with an internet connection can watch them. they are so cute!

take care,
susan

[connie]

bless your heart sweetie, i know you are hurting.
and your poor husband too. i told you about the toy poodle i had didn't i? he was a runt and his mother rejected him. i raised him on a bottle from birth, he lived 15 years as my child, not a dog. i lost him and my dad on same day in 1991 and i almost didn't make it. they were all i had. i hardened my heart to getting another. my vet begged me to, all my friends brought some around, but i just couldn't do it. then in 2001, cricket was abandoned, my sister called to tell me to come over and i told her, NO dog!. but when i walked into her house, cricket jumped in the air, flew into my arms, and crossed his paws around my neck and wouldn't let go. my heart melted, and i have never regreted taking him, even after his ruptured disk and all i have gone through with him. i wasted so many years not getting another dog, just imagine how many needed someone like me to love them. sorry this is so long,what i am saying is, yes get a puppy , your sweetie in heaven will be looking down with his doggie grin, thinking how wonderful you are to love another one. don't be like me and waste so many years. everyone tells me how lucky cricket is to have me, but i am truly the lucky one, the little fellow loves me uncondtional, unlike the humans i know. lol. after i got him, my health improved! i was happy again.
i think it will help your husband also. please don't feel guilty, it was an accident, and no ones fault. horrible i know, but you loved that dog and it knew it. he will be waiting for you someday, and you can take long walks together, he will so healthy. you and your family are always in my prayers. take care, let us know about the puppy. my boy sends you a wet sloppy slurp! i cherish those slurps!

hugs, connie and cricket

[Vanessa]

Stephanie:

We went through the same thing when our bulldog Roger died. He was just about twelve years old and I had gotten him as a Christmas present for my husband Rob b/f we got married. Roger and Rob lived as "bachelors" together for a time, and Rob just adored him. He was really like a person. We also had our shih-tzu Daisy, who grew up with Roger and was very attached to him. When Roger passed away, we were so incredibly sad. I can remember coming into the living room the next morning, and it was the strangest thing, but I fully expected to see him sleeping in his favorite chair - my heart was prepared to see him, but it was not to be.

I wanted to get another bulldog right away. My husband said no way. I called our breeder the day after Roger died, and she said that she had some puppies that were due in about three weeks. After imploring Rob, he said no, he was not ready, so we passed on the puppies. A couple of months later, our breeder e-mailed us and said that one of the males she had sold to a woman was available again. He had one undescended testicle and she wanted to use him for breeding, so he was not acceptable and she "returned him." I asked Rob again, and showed him the picture of this puppy, and he could not resist. So that's how we came to get Romeo Blue! We really also got Romeo for Daisy, who seemed so depressed after Roger died. So when we got Romey, it was like an old lady and a toddler. Romeo would pull her tail, and she'd show her gums at him (she has no teeth in the front - she's twelve now!). So then we decided to get a bulldog puppy for Romey, which is how we came to have Miss Mabelline.

So we are the inverse of you and your husband. You are the more reluctant, whereas I was the one who wanted a puppy right away. There is no replacing your baby who passed. There is no question about that. But there is just nothing like a puppy to raise your spirits. Each of them has a special place in your heart, that can never be replaced by another. Look at us now - I was able to talk Rob into not one, but two bulldogs. Our house is now a crazy house with three dogs and two kids. I wouln't trade it!

Good luck to you! Open your heart; it is not a replacement and never will be. But puppies just make your heart happy, no question.

Vanessa

[Barbara Boehmer]

I think its best if everything has at least one of its own kind to play with. My former neighbor used to keep two dogs. Whenever the eldest would die, he would get a new one. The elder dog would always perk up when the youngster arrived. Most young dogs will follow a big dog around and try to do everything the big dog does, like a little boy trying to do what an older brother does. Someday that youngster becomes the older dog and the cycle of life continues ...

[GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily]

But you can honor it. Tama's legacy is love and life.
Allix was the little girl I never had. When she was shot, I told the sheriff, she's not my "dog", she's my four-legged daughter. My mother was screaming, I was worse. My son? I can't even go there. So Allix had come from the county shelter which has a very short shelf life. Allix was shot on 2/3, she died on 2/4, and on Valentine's day, I found myself back at the shelter, holding a little pup who was covered inside and out with parasites, a little fighter who took on the big pups. Sat at the picnic table out back, just sobbing, wondering if I was making a huge mistake. That little pup is now AmbrrNanaDog, my best friend, the Nana of the house, my four-legged sister (not daughter). She has saved my life countless times. She could not replace Allix, but she took on a whole new role.
Forever thankful that I took that trip to the shelter. Thankful for both of us.
Photo is AllixMurderedPup. She had yellow, people eyes. She was and always will be one of a kind.

[Stephanie]

Vanessa,

I LOVED your story!! Thank you, all of you make me feel better!!

Stephanie Missy, Forever Tama
And introducing....Monty

[Stephanie]

It IS a cycle of life, isn't it...Missy is doing so much better. She wagged her tail for the first time in days after Tama passed, as soon as she saw him. Of course, she is grown and Monty will annoy her, but her spirits are definately lifted! So are ours...

Thanks
Stephanie Missy, forever Tama
The New MONTY

[Stephanie]

Karen,

Considering what you have been through, you have been such a shining light for me. You have "held" my hand through the toughest time in life. I cannot imagine what you went through with your son. I understand that is something that can't be touched, but yet you still walk the rest of us through some very trying times. I also want to extend a personal thank you, in regards to Robyns response. I still don't know how to feel over that. She was right, it was our fault, it was the toughest lesson of my life and unfortunately, she had the right to say what she did. I am grateful that it was removed. After I got to the most horrible part of her response, I did not read anymore. Thank you for thinking enough of me to respond to her. I had this long letter that I was going to post, I don't know what I'll do yet. I would never be that mean, whether it was deserved or not. I could only say something like that if someone intentionally hurt an animal. We did not. Karen, thank you, you have a friend in me forever.

Love
Stephanie Missy, forever Tama
The New Monty