I am happy to say your situation is sounding a lot better than I expected. I am glad she is 69 lbs and not 109. I am glad you have help, but I am going to take your husband's back problem very seriously. I am glad there is a possibility of flexing your schedule. I am amazed that you have learned to express her already, that is the best news ever. I want to give you several articles to read when you have time. The first one is on diapering. It sounds like she would benefit from diapering, and you may want to stick the Depends into the diaper if added absorbency is needed. They do sell tailored pet diapers here at
http://www.petdiapers.com, or here is a link with a size chart showing human brands people have used for different breeds and sizes of dogs.
https://www.handicappedpets.com/mediawiki/index.php/Diapers_and_male_wraps
Here is some information on expressing. Some dogs do dribble, but generally they will stay dry for several hours if expressed. Either she has a very loose sphincter, or perhaps you are not getting her quite empty. Expressing is surely an acquired skill. With a loose sphincter she will be easier to express, you are fortunate there. I would recommend shaving her bottom if you can? It will make clean-up easier and less urine will be trapped in her fur. The vet can shave her for you if at a follow-up appointment if you don't have any clippers. It's called a "sanitary clip". Baby wipes are helpful. I am using Huggies wipes with shea butter, they don't smell too bad. If she is dribbling that much, you will have to see how well the corn starch works. I imagine you may end up having to use ointment. You can try original old-fashioned A&D ointment, I started out with that, it is safe for dogs. Vaseline is also safe. If that doesn't work, I am personally using Desitin and find it works better. You need to be careful with any ointment that contains zinc oxide, like Desitin, as zinc is poisonous to pets if licked. If you put on ointment and then put on a diaper, and your dog does not take off the diaper or lick the area, you are OK. I would keep an eye on her to see how she behaves regarding diapers and ointment, just to be safe.
http://www.handicappedpets.com/mediawiki/index.php?title=Express_a_dog_or_cat
You did not mention any problems with going potty number two, but we talk about everything here. If you would like tips on caring for the bowel, this may help you. Many of us deal with this, my dog is incontinent both ways but it does not affect her quality of life or mine.
https://www.handicappedpets.com/mediawiki/?title=Bowel_management_in_incontinent_pets
They recommend turning a down dog every few hours. It sounds like you have a really good, soft bed for her, about as good as it can be. Here is a website showing how to turn a down dog. Considering that she has had surgery, of course you'll want to be careful. You (or your husband) will also need to be careful with the turning. My golden retriever has a large bed, so if I roll him over he is still on the bed. With the standard dog bed, by the time you roll the dog, your dog is off the bed. One good tip to keep in mind is not to let your dog lie on any wrinkles, that will make a pressure sore more likely.
I love this webpage!
http://www.mzjf.com/turn-dog.htm
Here are 2 more links that you may enjoy. One shows an easy way to elevate your dog's hips for diaper changes using a rolling pin and cutting board. It is written with a male dog in mind, but may give you and your husband an idea on lifting your female dog as well.
http://www.handicappedpets.com/mediawik ... a_down_dog
The other shows the use of an engine hoist for lifting a heavy dog.
http://www.handicappedpets.com/mediawiki/index.php?title=Engine_hoist_for_a_heavy_dog
Gosh, it's going to take you all weekend just to look through these, but maybe you can just glance at them so you'll at least know the information is available.
Glad you are here!!!
EDIT TO ADD: I realized I should have asked, can she stand on her front legs if you hold her up? Do you have a rear harness for lifting her?
I also wanted to add a note to your husband. I have never put this into words exactly, but I think he will know what I mean. When you have a back problem, often people will tell you that you will be fine as long as you use correct body mechanics. Well, that is only partly true to begin with, in some cases you can still mess up your back even if you lift correctly. But also, you quickly find out that when dealing with lifting a live animal, there are a lot of wildcards in the lift. You start out to use proper body mechanics and then the dog moves a foot or flounders or something, and you
yourself are thrown off. Therefore even if you intend to lift properly, your dog does not exactly know what sort of cooperation is required on their part and may very well do something that puts your back at risk. Therefore, I would advise your husband to be careful, and do a lot of thinking on how to lift. Really think it through.
I have an upper back problem, which is different than usual--most people have lower back problems. I have found that one way I can get my dog up without straining myself is to half kneel, with one knee on the floor and the other bent. I rest my forearm on the bent knee (which serves as a table) and lift the dog by grabbing the rear harness he is wearing and doing a curl with my biceps. My elbow never leaves my knee, and I do not use my back at all. Please tell your husband that the average dog carries 60% of the weight on the front feet and 40% on the hind feet. So if your dog weighs 70 lbs that is 42 lbs on the front feet, and 28 lbs on the hind feet, which is how much you must lift to raise the dog's rear end. If your husband's doctor has told him he should not lift 30 lbs, then maybe he'd better not actually heft the dog up, but either try a mechnical lifting device, or find a way (such as the biceps curl I just described) to lift without using his back. And always watch for that unexpected movement, the wildcard in the lift.
I'll be thinking about him! It is so important to keep ourselves healthy, or we will be unable to continue to care for the pet. [EDIT: This method of lifting was bad advice, I later dislocated a rib after doing this a couple of months.]