How do we deal with Death?

[GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily]

We all walk our own walks. We all WILL face this conundrum. It is who we are and why we are. Having walked this walk so many times, and in such heartbreaking ways, I think we should share what helps and what doesn't help. I adopted a puppy when Allix was murdered. I bought a show dog when Mom died. Each of us has methods that help I am here to tell you the BIGGEST comfort I have received, the greatest gift, was to help others as they journey into the unknown world of extreme pain. I like music for my son. Deciding on what to play at his funeral was given the greatest scrutiny. At the very last minute, an hour before his service, I gave the music director another CD,despite the fact he had worked an hour on what I had given him a few days before. I found Andy's last college recording of performance, and everything was brought to a halt. The 2nd movement of Beethoven's 7th was my first choice, because it exquisitely captures a dark pain growing to a crescendo and then pastoral peace. The 2nd Movement to Beethoven's 7th, to me, is the most moving composition every writ. Andy performed it as a child with the Beaufort Chamber Orchestra. If you hear what I hear, you will cry and then you will find peace. I find I MUST cry, I MUST open the door to pain every now and again. I will never forget. Beethoven helps me to remember. Crying is a good thing. We honor the lives lost, the lives loved beyond measure. Beethoven's 7th, 2nd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdfNTO_o-3k Another favorite is Sara McLaughline's In the arms of the Angels.

I find in times of loss, it helps to grab ahold of denial in the early daze. Reality will set in soon enough. In the moment before you awake, you forget. You truly do. And the world is serendipitous. Grab ahold of that feeling and grow it.

In the meantime, you have or haven't had the opportunity to grow your memories. If you HAVE had that opportunity, relive those moments. Roll around in them and relive them. They are treasures beyond gold right now. If your loss was sudden, that is the hardest to deal with , because you have no time to plan, you have no time to cry your eyes out at your impending loss, you simply have no time. These are the moments when we grab what we have been gifted with and relive it over and over and over agian.


How do you find comfort? I find it in the heart and soul of a legacy. I find it in a fourlegger who so despreratley wants to LIVE.

[GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily]

Another avenue is rescue. How do we define a Legacy? We must search our hearts and find what is important to us. What did our loved one exemplify and typify? What what their passion? Maybe it was a silly blind dog. Maybe it was enjoying life. Maybe it was overcoming odds that seemed insurmoutable to the humans. What was your pet's passion? What did they love more than anything? Was it another dog? Was it a treat? Was it walkies in the park?

Is our destiny a rescue who epitomizes the life we lost? Is our destiny creating a rescue for the lives of so many threatened by euth because of the condition our very own HeartBeats endured, overcame, and created a LIFE for?

We examine. We question. We observe. We find answers. We just have to reach inside our deepest heart to find the Legacy. The Legacy is the answer, I believe. But in the meantime as I search the universe, I find closer answers. I find poems. I find music. I find communications that could only come from my lossed love.. I continue to search the universe, as we all do, looking for the answer.

The FIRST answer, I belive is this: They came into our lives for a reason. They changed our lives. They Taught us Life Lessons. They made us into BETTER Humans. As you grieve, in your journey, reflect on how they changed your very life. How they taught you: Love, Compassion, Love, Forgiveness, Love, Happiness, Love, Endurance, Love, Laughter. Love. Did I mention Love?

That is our Biggest Life Lesson from our Pets. Love.


To our Members, this is NOT a taboo subject. It is one we all face. Every Day of our lives We face Loss, how do we deal with it? Help us to help you...We are riht here bseide you. Can you see us? Can you Feel us?

[tessa]

i'm reading.
i'm just not in the space to respond at this time.
but i'm here.

[GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily]

tessa, my best friend was dx'd at stage IV last year. She has done an amazing job of overcoming, learning to dance in the rain and she has refused chemo because she believes in quality over quanity. The estrogen receptors have stopped working, her CTC numbers are climbing and her only option now to extend even any time is chemo. She still will attend our rescue even next Saturday. Her pain levels have increased (the metastisis is throughout her skeleton and I was told by someone who knows that the pain is pretty bad ~ it's in her skeleton as well and the bones are very fragile ~ how frightening THAT is for her!) Her fatigue is huge. She still works and cares for her dogs. And this winds round also to my advice to live for today with our pups. Every day is a gift to them, every day is love for them, every day is life. If we can build their life experience by totally devoting every moment to making them silly happy and for my pack, it's getting on the floor with them, then we not only gift THEM, we gift ourselves with the finest memories ever.

My friend's courage and strength throughout have dazzled me as her world grows smaller. I am also examining how I will survive and what tribute I wish to build for her. I can't talk to her about this, because my purpose in our friendship is to make everything normal, which has always been her biggest goal. I had my meltdown last week, talking to a BC counsellor, tryin to figure out what I can do now as things worsen. Her words to me inspired me. She said Make a Plan. Have something to look fowrard to. Make a plan for the future.

So I am on a journey myself. To find out how I can best help her, to be strong for her, and to not lose my own mind in the process.

We are here but a short time, we love to the fullest, we live to the fullest. When our time here is done, how do we want to be remembered. Our pups have always epitomized the purest of loves. That is how they want to be remembered. Today and always. They want us to love and to share.

That is the legacy.