I have lost what cannot be replaced. .

[Dayna]

I had to put Nola down lastnight. I adopted her as an 11 week old stray pup. I am devestated. She was my partner in life. Not a pet, nor a child, but a companion. I am a single women with no children or close family. Nola was the best partner anyone could have. I knew many a joy and more tears of life on life's terms during the 13 Blessed years I spent with my Nola. I lost my beloved mother last year. Nola was my source of strength. I cannot imagine life without her. I put her needs before my own, yet my head is full of "woulda shoulda and if onlys". I know the full strength of this(the most devestating loss of my life) has not hit me. I still feel like shes here..perhaps cuddled in the other room...
I know only a 'dog person' can know how to comfort a 'dog person'. Any suggestions to help me with what feels like a weight on my Soul that will never cease? People say that time heals. For me ,however, I feel like it is an emotional amputation. You go on but you are a lesser sum of your greater whole. My heart is broken and my Soul is hurting.
Thank you for listening
Dayna

[Bobbie]

I know some people wait a long time to get a new dog, but I wouldn't wait. A new dog can help ease the loss and give you time to grieve without it being so raw. Especially when the loss is your only dog...why be alone?

it isn't that another would ever replace Nola but another dog can help you through the difficult time.

[Dayna]

I will certainly consider this. Nola is the first dog in my life. This loss is so fresh. But I agree with your suggestion. I am open to help any and all organizations..so i can offfer myself and my time now.
Thanks so much

[Bobbie]

You might want to try fostering and then if the right dog comes along, keep it. In the meantime you do a lot of good and are not alone.

[BethT]

Dear Dayna,

I am so sorry for your loss of Nola. I don’t think there is anything that I or anyone else could say that will lesson your intense grief over the loss of your beloved dog. Know that most of us are all too familiar with the pain that you are going through. There is nothing like the heartache of losing a pet and unfortunately it can be a rather lonely experience, as frequently people don’t quite understand the depth of our grief.

I work for a vet and unfortunately go through this grieving process with clients more then I care to. I truly believe that most people have made every decision based on compassion and love for their animal. I’m sure that Nola knew she was loved and that is what you have to remember. That being said, I don’t think that I have gone through any of my pets death’s without second guessing myself… it’s just human nature.

You will never forget Nola but with time instead of crying every time you think of her you will begin to smile again. You will always miss her but the weight on your soul will over time slowly cease. Hopefully in time you will have another dog in your life to love and love you. There are so many out there waiting for loving homes.

With deepest sympathy,
BethT

[Dayna]

Thank you Beth for your words of comfort.

[Dayna]

I will check out the sites Bobbie. Your suggestion and the reading I have been doing have moved me greatly

[vitDsunshine]

You'll probably know when the right time is to adopt another dog, Dayna. Sometimes it is sooner than you think but you will know and even though it is NOT a replacement for your loss, it is another special being to fill your heart. No one truly is gone if they are still in your heart and mind. You just add to the joys that are already there from all the memories. In 1998 when another of my dogs died that I literally grew up with, my dear friend brought me Sasha, a little more than two weeks after his death and then it came around that Sasha's time ran out. Time flies so fast but still, great memories and joys to be had with special companions if we let them in our lives.

[Dayna]

I thank you for sharing this with me. Nola was a stray that found me. My love and heartfelt need to save animals will of course lead me to another precious life. I have an open heart though it is hurting terribly.

[abbydog2010]

I'm so very sorry for your loss and know just how you feel. When I lost my last dog, I was heartbroken more than words can say. It took me 3 years to think of getting another but everyone is different and for some people, getting another dog right away helps heal their hearts heal even though no dog can take the place of another. You'll know when you're ready.

In the meantime, you could maybe help out a local rescue in some way (adoption events, bake sales etc) and as mentioned, maybe foster a dog. This way, if you find you're not ready for a new dog, the foster will still be safe and go to another loving home. I adopted a dog no one else would want (too old and a mutt) and have gotten so much love, joy and happiness from her. I urge you to consider an adult dog.........when you find the right one you will never be sorry.

yet my head is full of "woulda shoulda and if onlys".

I know each of us has felt that way. I have, every time I've had to let a dear pet go and it's been MANY times. I try and focus on the fact that the pet had a long and happy life filled with loving care, and a gentle, dignified end. Your Nola spent her whole life with someone who loved her dearly - a life most other dogs could never dream of. I know that doesn't help you right now but maybe it will later when the pain is not so raw.

Again, so sorry.

[Dayna]

Thank you so much. I know I made Nola the center of my universe. Why is it though that I can only remember at this current time, the end part of her life? I feel guilty that I became a caretaker and less of our time was spent cuddling and playing. I know I gave her %100 of me..I just long for one last night cuddled up with her...not focusing on if she wet herself..just enjoying her being close . Did I comfort her enough? I loved her more than life itself I am so sad..I can't pull myself together.

[esor0908]

I was really touched by your story about Nola. I have been through the same thing and will again soon. When I lost my Isabella a few years ago, I lost the love of my life, my best friend, my everything. She was my reason for living and I was so happy to spend all my time with her. So the time was pretty horrendous and I really don't know how I got through it. I think it was a case of having to. But also the thought that there are other dogs out there who badly need a home, really have been neglected and I felt that I owed it to another dog to give them a start in life. So that's what I did - and it's not easy. Infact, it was 6 or 7 months before I felt a bond with Chloe and sometimes I used to walk along with Chloe, crying over Issy. So try and leave a little time. Nola knows no pain now and knows nothing about what is happening. You are dealing with this grief, and you were lucky to have a girl like her, so perhaps you can feel fortunate about that. I wish you some peace and hope things get better.

[abbydog2010]

There's a little poem I like to read when I'm in despair over yet another loss and heartbreak. It doesn't take away the grief, but reminds me to put things into perspective: (my italics)

Fragile Circle

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,
never fully understanding the necessary plan."

Irving Townsend.