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My sister put shami down yesterday, tears

For help and support with the passing of a pet. Sometimes we feel very alone. We're not alone.
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Shami's Aunt
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Joined: Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:45 pm

My sister put shami down yesterday, tears

Post by Shami's Aunt » Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:55 am

Shami was a wonderful blue ribbon boxer who was used to breed puppies after she was too old to be shown. Her owner a heartless woman who's son dated my niece, was going to put her because apparently she couldn't get along with the others that she had bred.

My sister, Carrie, took the dog and to our surprise, she was more of couch potato anywhere you were, she'd be right on top of you. I know for a fact. I slept over my sister's one night, and there was Shami a 60 + pound boxer on top of me, snoring.

I grew to love this dog, even though she wasn't my own. I took her for rides in the car, whenever I could.

Shami started getting sick last summer her hind quarters started to go. It got worse and worse. My sister didn't know what to do. So she called the animal rescue league to put her down. I was IRATE. I drove as fast as I could to get to her house, but there was traffic. I wanted to say goodbye to my fur niece, but the Animal Rescue League already got her. My plan was to follow them and make sure that Shami wasn't alone.

My sister is the biggest idiot in the world, she doesn't care about any one else. I took care of the dog and gave her so much love. I was going to take her to a vet and have it done on Friday, but my sister couldn't take her whimpering anymore, then I told her, get a mat and sleep in the kitchen with her. That's what I did before I had to put the cat to sleep. I slept with her in the kitchen so he wouldn't be afraid, and then took him to a vet who had been taking care of him when he was sick.

My sister is a horrible mean person. I didn't even say goodbye to my whirly girl who used to grab the leg off the turkey at Thanksgiving, or eat the Easter Ham, she actually ate the entire ham when no one was looking. I feel horrible, I can't cry because I have conjunctivitis for the second time in a month.

She also had her cremated and I'm disgusted with that as well. She should have dug a hole and buried this beautiful, lovable couch potato of a dog, but she's gutless, heartless and cruel. She didn't want to take the dog to the vet, coward.

I blocked her number as I never want to speak to her again. If she calls my cell phone, I'll tell her I'll get a restraining order on her. I'm so heartsick. I didn't get to say goodbye to one of the best dogs in the world. This is affecting everything. I have homework up to the ceiling, I have to go a closing for our house this morning, I have conjunctivitis, fibromyalgia and raging PMS. I'm in a fibro flare right now, ususally it doesn't bother me but I'm so angry.

Goodbye, my beautiful blue ribbon winner, I hope your out of pain at the Rainbow bridge. I'm sorry auntie didn't get there in time.

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Re: My sister put shami down yesterday, tears

Post by ems736336 » Thu Jan 25, 2007 1:43 pm

I am so very sorry for your loss of Shami. I hope your hurt will heal with memories of your times together. Unfortunately there is a reason for every event in our lives. Some of them are very horrible for us. Most here have had their share of sorrow, worry and tears. I hope you are granted the serenity to accept what you cannot change and go on with peace in your heart.
Ethel S.

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Barbara Boehmer
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Re: My sister put shami down yesterday, tears

Post by Barbara Boehmer » Thu Jan 25, 2007 1:53 pm

Antoinette (Toni, Shami's aunt),

I am so sorry to hear about Shami. It sounds like you made her life happier by taking her for car rides and spending time with her. It is too bad you did not get an opportunity to say goodbye in the end.

Did your sister say why she did not wait for you and chose cremation instead of burial? Without knowing all of the details, I have to wonder if she felt she was in too much pain and could not wait. Did they put her to sleep at home, then take her? Also, in many places it is illegal to bury an animal in your backyard. Since it was her dog, not yours, these things are ultimately her decision, not yours. Since I don't know all of the details, I can't tell if your sister just had a lack of consideration for the dog and/or your feelings or if there were other factors. I don't know if you might feel differently after you have had some time to calm down and recover. If you are still convinced that your sister's actions were just the result of lack of consideration, then you are probably better off without her.

There are plenty of us here who understand how you feel about your pets and sometimes other people's pets, and many of us have had encounters with relatives, friends, co-workers, or neighbors who don't feel the same way and don't treat their animals properly or consider our feelings for our animals or theirs. There will always be people like that. Remember that there are many others who are not like that and you can talk to some of us here. As a child, I came home one day to find that my mother had given away a cat that I had for years without any consideration for my feelings whatsoever, however I convinced her to get my cat back and return her to me. This was part of a pattern of her not considering my feelings about anything, never paying attention to what I had to say, giving away my things without telling me, and so forth. I have also cared for cats and one dog that were left behind by neighbors when they moved out or were just abandoned even while they lived here, with no treatment for injuries or even food.

There are other pets whose lives you can make better. You have to take care of yourself, so you can be there to take care of them. Try to do what you can to keep from having this affect your health. I have lupus, so I know how stressful events can cause flare-ups. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and prevent worsening of symptoms. That means different things for different people. It might mean talking to everybody you know about what happened to help find closure or taking some time off from work or school or other stressful activities to reduce the overall stress or planting some flowers or a tree in Shami's honor or going for a walk or relaxing in a bubble bath or watching a comedy movie to take your mind off things or getting some much-needed sleep or a combination of such things. I just lost two cats earlier this month, but have been so busy taking care of another elderly cat with major health issues, that I have barely had time to stop and think about it. I keep expecting to see them sitting on the couch or thinking that I am missing two at feeding time, then I remember.

Do you have other pets? Please let us know how you and any other pets are doing.


Shami's Aunt
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Re: My sister put shami down yesterday, tears

Post by Shami's Aunt » Thu Jan 25, 2007 2:04 pm

Thank You Ethel

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Re: My sister put shami down yesterday, tears

Post by CarolC » Thu Jan 25, 2007 6:43 pm

Dear Toni,

I am really sorry you did not get to be with Shami to say goodbye. I can understand how that would feel. I am glad at least that you and your sister agreed the time was near, and this was not weeks or months premature. The loss was going to be hard enough whatever happened, I am sorry something has made it harder.

Some people who have given it thought feel euthanasia at home is the kindest choice. When you consider it from the pet's point of view, it may be better not to be taken from your comfortable bed, loaded into the car when you don't feel well, carried into a building full of strangers with sounds of animals crying and the smell of disinfectant, and feel the hard surface of an examining table in your last minutes.

Perhaps some day you will not regret that part so much, knowing Shami was surrounded by familiar smells and comforts at the end, but I am sure you will always wish you could have been there with her. I wish you could have, too. I am so sorry for your loss.

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Re: My sister put shami down yesterday, tears

Post by GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily » Thu Jan 25, 2007 6:51 pm

Oh, dear Shami's Aunt, I remember when you first posted... Tears is not adequate for what you are feeling... I am so very sorry, Shami's Best Friend. So very sorry.
There is nothing more dear than loving unconditionally, and that is what YOU did for Shami. She was so lucky to have YOU!
Ask for some of Shami's ashes.
You can put them in a locket. And wear Shami every day.
I have some of my boy's in a locket that goes with me everywhere. It is a HUGE comfort. And something you can grab when the tears come.
My deepest sympathies to you, dear Aunt.
You will see Shami at the Bridge.
Karen, Andy's ^i^ mom
Lethal White Aussies Rule!

Shami's Aunt
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Re: My sister put shami down yesterday, tears

Post by Shami's Aunt » Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:14 pm

Hi Barbara,

I just wish I could have been there, I guess God didn't want me there for some unknown reason. To put it mildly my sister is not a very nice person. I've tried and tried to put the past behind us because we are the last of the family. My mom, dad, and sister George-Ann are all deceased.

I was IRATE yesterday morning, and tried to get there as fast as I could. I forgot my medication for my fibro, and had to go back and take that, once I got on the highway, there was traffic, probably an accident. I finally got off the exit and was three streets away when my sister said that the Animal Rescue league had already taken her. She was crying and I said, well I'll go home. She was the last person I wanted to be with. So I called a friend, we had lunch, I picked up my son and his friend, waited for the neighbors older kids to come home and dropped off the my son and his friend. I went to the movies and saw Dreamgirls just to keep my mind off it.

I'm trying to pull myself together to finish my week's worth of home work. My classes are five weeks long, online, and extremely difficult. I am an ex-Information Tech Support worker. Couldn't do the job anymore, people with computer problems get on my nerves. I'm finishing up my Bachelors Degree in Accounting.

I am going to miss Shami. Her stage name was Shamrock's Sweet Delight, but we just called Shammi, but my sister spells Shami. I just wish I could have been there. I had intended to follow the animal rescue league to make sure Shami didn't die frightened among strangers.

My sister is a real winner. I don't know whether she is stupid, dumb, or both. I don't know where she came from, either.

I'm really going to miss my girl friend. I used to call her girlfriend or whirly girl. I had to take care of her on a few occasions, when it came to walking her, well that was a bit of struggle, she weighed about 60 + pounds, and would go after other dogs. I'm little, 4'10 and 95 pounds, and Shami would walk me. One time she dragged me while chasing another dog. I couldn't understand how a blue ribbon winner would behave like that, but maybe she forgot how to act or something.

One time she stayed over my house and I took her out at 1:00 a.m. I live on a cul-de-sac, so it's pretty safe around here, well she thought she was going to come into bed with me. I brought her downstairs and put her on the couch where my sister was sleeping, well, she was so mad at me, she pee'd almost by my bedroom door. I know dogs don't get even, well, I think she was mad that I wouldn't let her sleep with my husband and I. Luckily he didn't notice the smell or step in it. I bought every kind of rug cleaner then called Sears to see if they could do an emergency carpet clean. My husband would have freaked if he knew. I told him yesterday. That was 3 years ago.

I'm going to miss her.

Thanks for letting me vent

Antoinette aka Toni

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Re: My sister put shami down yesterday, tears

Post by Christine » Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:35 pm

Dear Antoinette,

I am so sorry for your loss...please check your private messages.
Christine... and Bailey, playing at the Bridge
?/1999 - 10/25/08

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