he was only 12.
Last August when a tiny spina bifida kitten passed away despite monumental efforts to keep his happy little self going I was absolutely crushed, far harder than I had ever been. I looked at the head vet and said "I don't want to rescue cats anymore." he gave me a hug and said to give it time. Indeed, it finally came back but it isn't the same. I have taken more cats in, but I no longer look at each case with the same intensity, the same drive that I must do all I can. I just don't have the emotional wherewithall to invest anymore. Without any of the bendy clan here the house is so strange.
In May some rescue friends of mine, seeing how low I was after losing Tommy, brought me a tiny 9 ounce kitten with thumbs. Her name is Thera. She is a joy, and I certainly needed a pickmeup. A healthy kitten for a change, and I hope she stays that way. I still have a houseful because of course they never stop coming entirely. After sweet Butterbean passed in January of 18 two girls came to me with dislocated hips, bowed femurs, and dislocated knees. I call them the collapsable girls. I have Shripmie with two and a half legs and a myrid of gut issues. I have two manx syndrome girls Penelope and Hopper. and there are others.
I am trying to take a little time for myself this year, little weekend trips here and there, but its hard when you work in some capactiy 7 days a week. This is a rare weekend with no work.
I honestly don't think I ever really recovered from losing my Bendy. Losing Butterbean was so traumatic that I still rethink it at least once a day. Every loss brings back memories of all the losses before. I try to focus on the happy times we had, but it is so so so very hard.
forever in my heart
i am not the same without you.
I do not believe time heals all wounds. Maybe for s-o-m-e people. No, I don't envy them.
Losing too many in one year or successive years would be shell shock.
I have some where if they are quite old and I have no guilt and they go happy, I can accept it because I know we did as well as we could and this is what we were trying to do. But those are not the ones I am closest to.
The only good thing about losing one that really found their way into your heart is, it would have been worse for them if you had gone first, but instead they were spared being where you are at now.
We are still family, whoever goes first.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/ ... -are-seven