Just saying.....

[Precious'mom]

Hi,

I just had to ask why do some people so dislike the idea of a disabled animal, that they criticize you for spending your time taking care of a disabled animal? I take care of my Precious, an almost 4 year old, 7 lbs miniature schnauzer born with a congenital defect that prevents her from using her back legs and left her with a severe scoliosis of the spine. She's still healthy, still not 1 uti, and she's absolutely a complete joy to me. I don't understand why some family members would purposely try to hurt me by accusing Precious of bringing me down because of the care she requires. I choose to care for Precious, not the other way around, my choice, and she gives me so much more than I give her. She's so joyful and carefree and inspiring to people with her work as a therapy dog, specializing in visiting kids and especially disabled children. I think she shows everybody that you shouldn't let anything stop you from doing what you want, as she never lets her disability stop her from anything she does. Sometimes things just get done differently! I think her impact on my life and on some of people that meet her, is profound and meaningful. She's one of the only things I've been really proud of these past 4 years and it really hurts me that my family would feel this way and talk about us behind my back. I know I've had some moments on therapy dog visits with disabled children, especially kids with similar disabilities, that have changed my life. I know she's amazing, and I'm sorry they can't see that. Anyways, how do you deal with that? I can take comments from strangers, which, by the way, always adore Precious and are inspired by her, but when it's from family, what do you do? Usually people once they're around her and see how happy and hyper she is, can't feel sorry for her, because how can you feel sorry for a crazy, happy, carefree puppy? I just don't know how to deal with family like that and have shut them out, as I feel if people can't support me even when they don't agree with me, then they don't deserve to be in my life. I don't know if I should address the things they've said or just continue ignoring them. Any advice would be appreciated, please.

Jennifer

[Bobbie]

I have one family member who is obnoxious about the care Merlin, who has DM, takes, to the point of accusing me of using him on purpose to get out of things. I would like to say I always take the high road and ignore her, but she does make me furious.

However, here is what I think in my better moments. She is the one who needs pity, because she lacks the capacity to love and to empathize with those who do love an animal. She needs pity because she is not able to see the potential of each life. She is missing out on something that we all have.

[critters]

I have a particularly obnoxious one, too. Hearing the "just an animal" speech, or the one about quality of life (but ONLY the type of life that she, herself, defines) makes me roll my eyes. I never hesitate to tell her about times like last weekend, when an old friend of hers and the friend's hubby fell in love with my non-walking spastic baby.

[Bendy Kitty]

(written by the bendy mom)
"family"
oh what a loaded word
it seems to mean "we are able to say anything hurtful and get away with it" to many people.
i no longer talk with those people.

when people question "why do you keep so and so alive" i say "because she/he is not suffering, because she/he is enjoying life. Because I don't mind at all taking care of him/her."

as to the 'just an animal' speach I usually say something along the lines of 'i prefer most animals to most people and I will take a dozen cats over one kid any day.'

i want a bumper sticker that says "my pit bull is better mannered than your honor student"

and if they insist and say "i don't understand..." i say "You don't have to. all you need to understand is that this is important to me." and i'll often add something like "I don't understand your obsession with basketball, WHAT does that benefit?"

the Bendy Mom

[sdrakkan]

i want a bumper sticker that says "my pit bull is better mannered than your honor student"

My boyfriend works in a print shop...and I think I'm gonna make him make me one. I'm a HUGE advocate for the breed and I'm always looking for new ones. Besides...they usually are...

I have to ignore the people who think I'm crazy for caring so much for "just an animal". I have declined selling animals to people who are getting it "just because my kid wants it...it will die in a month anyway" That is not OK and not what pet ownership is; it's a privilege, not a right.

My animals don't judge me, they don't yell at me, they just love me. While my snakes do not love, they do enjoy my touch over others so I'll take it. While I do like the company of some humans, most of the time I come home and just play with one of the many pets I have to relax. You don't have to like my animals, but they are part of me and I will never give them up.

[Bendy Kitty]

us cats have definitely opinions about what mom does and let her know it
but we forgive her moodiness quickly and always have a pur and a soft paw when she needs it.

have you seen the videos of Isina and Carrie on you tube? i may have posted them somewhere in thsi forum. Isina is our pit bull.

I'll watch for that bumper sticker in the mail, along with the pound of shrimpies....

bendy

[jazzybaby]

I too have had friends, family and even co-workers given me the speech she is just a dog or the speech of why in the world would I spend all of time and money I do on my cocker spaniel who has IVDD and has limited use of her back legs and needs to be expressed 4 times a day. And I say because she is like my child and if you had a child who became paralzyed you would not give them up or put them to sleep. And I feel the same about my cocker spaniel. I also explain that she has a very good life and is well taken care of. We would do anything for her. I have gotten very upset as some people think that Ihave given up things or had to change how i live my life to taken care of her but I do it because I love her and she loves me. She has always been there for me and I know if she could she would do the same for me. And if all else fails I just tell people if you don't have anything nice don't say anything at all. Good luck.

stacy & jasmine

[abbydog2010]

It's really odd how many people have no inhibitions on commenting on your pets - number of pets, type, expense involved etc... I mean, no one would walk in your house, see your new 50" TV and say, "What did you spend all that money on that for? You don't need that!"

These same people have no qualms about voicing their disapproval concerning pets..e.g. "You should get rid of some of those cats.." Or "Why are spending so much money on a old dog?"

My own friends know better than to make any disparaging comments about my pets, but many things I keep to myself (like spending $300 on vet care for a rat..hehe!) because I know they will never understand. Yes, for $300 I could have gotten 50 rats, but none of them would be my Daisy.

My reaction is as long as I'm footing the bills and giving the care, other people can just mind their own darn business.

[Bendy Kitty]

My reaction is as long as I'm footing the bills and giving the care, other people can just mind their own darn business.

Darned right!!!!!!!!

and, well, my tactless socially inept mom does often say things like "you spend how much on that????" or "you kid doesn't really NEED a cell phone."

snickersnicker.

bendy

[Precious'mom]

Thanks for all the support,

It is amazing how much people are willing to spend on something, but are so unwilling to show compassion to another living thing. I just usually ignore it, just at my sister's wedding, I had Precious at the reception, running around in her cart, and family made comments that she was holding me back, which anything but that would have rolled off my shoulders. I love her, and it's not because I don't have kids to take care of or something like that some people say, it's just simply because i love her and that's what you do for the ones you love. These same family members put their mother in a nursing home against all her wishes because they weren't willing to let her live with them. Something I would never do to my own parents. But I never said anything to them even though I strongly disagreed with this, and felt very sorry for their mother, wished i could have helped. I tell myself, if they can't understand this, they just really have no idea about who I am and what i'm about. I've been in dog rescue for seven years now, and helped some amazing dogs find great homes, which is something really important to me. One thing I really enjoy. But if they can't understand that, they really just don't know me. Besides, all my real friends understand that Precious gives me a whole lot more than I give her, and that's the truth! So I'll just ignore it, and continue to live my life my way! I do feel sorry for them that they don't get that she's an inspiration to people, and rather than pity her, they should be happy about her, as almost everyone who meets her is. But honestly, it doesn't surpise me that they don't get that, they're just those kind of people. Precious is named because that's just what she is, precious to me! Anyways, thanks for all the support and advice. It's always nice to talk with people who can relate to your situation.

Jennifer

[critters]

It's really odd how many people have no inhibitions on commenting on your pets - number of pets, type, expense involved etc... I mean, no one would walk in your house, see your new 50" TV and say, "What did you spend all that money on that for? You don't need that!"

These same people have no qualms about voicing their disapproval concerning pets..e.g. "You should get rid of some of those cats.." Or "Why are spending so much money on a old dog?"

My own friends know better than to make any disparaging comments about my pets, but many things I keep to myself (like spending $300 on vet care for a rat..hehe!) because I know they will never understand. Yes, for $300 I could have gotten 50 rats, but none of them would be my Daisy.

My reaction is as long as I'm footing the bills and giving the care, other people can just mind their own darn business.

So VERY true!!!! Wouldn't the world be so much better if people minded their own business, as long as nobody was being hurt???!!!