Euthanize - How did you Cope?

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Macy
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Joined: Thu Apr 30, 2020 5:49 pm

Euthanize - How did you Cope?

Post by Macy »

Hello,

I have a 9 1/2 years old German Shepherd.
She has degenerative myelopathy with difficulty in breathing now and her left hind foot is swollen. She also has blood in her urine which I think is from the tumor or cancer she has been treated for that last 3 years. She also has an open wound on her right hip which I am not able to get it healed. Her appetite is still good and that is the reason I am hesitant to let her go. It is hard for me to imagine a life without her, but I know I have to let her go one day.
I am also starting to have caregiver burden, but somehow I keep ignoring it.
If you had to euthanize your baby, how did you cope? How did you feel about it and what did you do to get over it?

Thank you
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CarolC
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Re: Euthanize - How did you Cope?

Post by CarolC »

Replies in blue...
Macy wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 11:13 am Hello,

I have a 9 1/2 years old German Shepherd.
She has degenerative myelopathy with difficulty in breathing now and her left hind foot is swollen. She also has blood in her urine which I think is from the tumor or cancer she has been treated for that last 3 years.

It is also possible the blood in the urine is due to a urinary tract infection. Dogs with neurological deficits can have deficits in bowel and bladder control. They may urinate but not empty completely, either because they lack muscle control or they can't feel it as well as they used to and don't realize they aren't empty. If she is not completely emptying each time, it leaves a little stale urine in the bladder and creates an environment for germs to grow. Normally a prescription of something like amoxicillin will clear it up pretty quickly, but a dog that is not completely emptying may need to be helped. What you do is, your let the dog start urinating, and then you place your hands over the bladder and apply pressure to the abdomen/bladder to help the dog empty completely. You have explained your dog has more issues than this one thing, so I am only mentioning this to provide information, it does not address the overall progression.

She also has an open wound on her right hip which I am not able to get it healed. Her appetite is still good and that is the reason I am hesitant to let her go. It is hard for me to imagine a life without her, but I know I have to let her go one day.

It sounds like a pressure sore or urine burn. They seem to happen more easily with heavy dogs. They can be very frustrating, it isn't just you. Here is some information on pressure sores. She may need an oral antiobiotic and some ointment, and most of all she needs to keep pressure off the area, which I understand is challenging, especially if it is the side she prefers to lie on.

http://dogswithdisabilities.com/pressuresores.htm


I am also starting to have caregiver burden, but somehow I keep ignoring it.

Yes, it is hard caring for a large down dog with a progressive condition. You can feel good that you have given her all this extra time by the care you have given, and grown closer to her.

There are some resources on caregiver fatigue, which is a very real thing. I have always said, if you were caring for a bedfast human, such as an elderly father or mother, everyone would have sympathy and have some idea what you are going through. But you can do just as much daily heavy work with a down dog and anyone who has not done it themselves will have no idea what you are going through. I think it is also true that you do as much as you can do, but when you can do no more, it is not your fault, and especially with a large dog.

This may only partially apply to you, but there is a phenomenon that has been recognized here regarding caregiving. It is that when your dog goes down and you have been doing it about 6 months (it may be more or may be less, I think I hit it at about 7 months) you kind of hit bottom, and then for reasons people do not really understand...it gets better. While this is entirely true, it does not take into account the condition of a dog with a progressive illness. When Anita described it so well, she was talking about an otherwise healthy paralyzed dog. Anita described it in a post we call The 6 Month Wonder.

viewtopic.php?f=10&t=3507&p=16745#p16745

I can't say more than has been said about the 6 Month Wonder.

I wonder if I am doing the right thing?
I wonder if she/he is happy?
I wonder what people think?
I wonder if it is all worth it?
I wonder is he/she will ever walk again?
I wonder where I will get more money for treatment?
I wonder how long I can do this?

Wonder, wonder, wonder. We have all done it and know exactly where you are. I think what is missing is acceptance. Once you accept that this is they way it is going to be, then it becomes so much easier. I know that it is hard and you are tired but you have gone this far, why give up now? The hard part is over!!! It will all become a way of life and you won't think anything about. I promise you.

It will be 2 years Labor Day weekend that my Sydney went down. Looking back, it was tough. But now, it is no big deal. Yeah we have been through alot because of the UTI but it all worked out and through my bad experience I have been able to teach others. We can't do everything right all the time. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything in this world. I have met some of the nicest and kindest people-many on this board-that have helped me out and in turn I have helped out others. I look back now and wonder what I use to do with all my free time?? Now it is spent expressing, pooping, exercising, giving butt baths, Chiro treatments, accu treatments, and the list goes on. I must have had a lot of free time on my hands!!!!


Here is also an article about pet caregiver syndrome. I'm not sure it's especially helpful, but it does address the fact of it. (It takes a minute to open and you have to scroll down to see it.)

http://www.specialneedspets.org/caregvrs.htm

Also, here is something Tom wrote. He was caring for his declining senior dog, and I think it applies more closely to your situation.

:arrow: :arrow: http://geocities.com/petinspiration/


When I was caring for my golden retriever who was down, and doing so much lifting, I waited way too long to start taking an anti-inflammatory/pain medication (for myself). If you are not taking anything, you might consider taking Aleve or something else that you know works well for you, and see if it helps. I don't know why I wasn't taking anything, I guess I was just thinking of my dog and not my physical discomfort that was contributing to fatigue, because trying to ignore and rise above pain all the time makes you tired.

If you had to euthanize your baby, how did you cope? How did you feel about it and what did you do to get over it?

I can't really answer this, because people have different experiences with it. And also, people have pets with different conditions. I know a lot of people believe that euthanizing pets is an act of kindness when they are having poor health or quality of life. At the same time, I have known several people who felt they should "do the right thing" and euthanize a pet with serious medical issues that could not be treated because they didn't want the pet to suffer, and then the procedure itself did not go as expected. The pet did not quietly pass away in their arms as you often hear, the pet cried or fought the procedure mightily in spite of being debilitated. A peaceful passing is not a guarantee, so all you can do is factor that possibility in with your overall decision making.

I don't know how everybody handles losing a beloved pet. One person here chopped wood. One took a baseball bat and destroyed her washing machine and moved into a hotel because she couldn't stand to be in the house alone. Many people are slow to put away their dog's bed or toys. A lot of people get another dog and try to give it the same good home they provided for their old dog who passed away. There are so many dogs that need a good home. Probably most people grieve on some level for a long time. When it is your heart dog, life will never really be the same again, but you have memories to last a lifetime and a lot to give another dog when you feel able.

I have no experience with DM, but one of our moderators here did (Bobbie), and she wrote a book, and I ordered a copy to be sent to you. I am not sure how fast they will ship the book and I understand you may feel a need to take her to the vet before the book arrives, and I do not want to affect your timeline or decision, but if you are still thinking about what to do, it may be helpful. I think you would like chapters 12, 13, and 14. Here is the list of chapters.


https://corgiaid.org/wp/cart/corgis-on-wheels/

I am sorry you are in this situation. I hope someday they will find a cure for DM for the sake of dogs and their people who love them. Very best wishes to you and your dog in this difficult time.

Thank you
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critters
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Re: Euthanize - How did you Cope?

Post by critters »

I, too, am sorry for your situation. Degenerative conditions are especially difficult, in my opinion. I don't think I can add anything different to the discussion. :cry:
Macy
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Re: Euthanize - How did you Cope?

Post by Macy »

Thank you for your responses.
I am well aware of her condition.
My question just was if you had ever put down a dog, how did you cope with the loss?
Did it make you mentally crazy asking yourself if there wasn't more you could do?
Or the question was it really time to let her go?
Macy
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Apr 30, 2020 5:49 pm

Re: Euthanize - How did you Cope?

Post by Macy »

Thank you for your response.
Sadly, we do not live in a perfect world because in a perfect world your pets would live as long as we do.
Also sad, that pets these days rarely die from natural cause because of all the good medical care which is available.
So, we have to make this decision which is very, very hard and it can eats you up as it does with me.
My back hurts like #### and sometimes I barely have the energy to lift the 90 lbs she weights up, but somehow I manage that.
With degenerative myelopathy there is really nothing I or anyone else could have done to prevent this.
It would have been nice if they would have found a cure.
That would also give people like Dr. Stephen Hawkins (R.I.P.) hope.
Do you have another pet after yours went to pet heaven?
How long did it take you to get another one?
Do you compare the "new" pet to your previous one?
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CarolC
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Re: Euthanize - How did you Cope?

Post by CarolC »

Agree with all. And by coincidence I have been thinking of Stephen Hawking this week, too.

I still have back problems left over from caring for my golden retriever 10 years ago. Your post reminded me of what it was like at the time, always going around in a haze of pain and discomfort and trying to ignore it. I hope you are taking something for your back. Medicine doesn't cure the strain but it might take the edge off. I do not find Tylenol does much for my back, but Aleve does. Different medicines work for different people I guess. In fact a doctor once told me some people respond better to Advil and some respond to Tylenol, apparently our systems differ. I like Aleve better than either of those, but when I cracked a rib Aleve didn't work and Tylenol did. If you tried a pain reliever that didn't help much, I would really encourage you to try another one and maybe it will. I ended up going to physical therapy after my dog passed because I never blew a disk but I managed to mess up my back in a lot of other complicated ways from the cumulative stress and strain of 8 months of lifting. It's real.

A dog carries 60% of his weight on the front legs and 40% on the hind legs. A 90-lb dog carries about 36 lbs on the hind legs, so you are lifting 36 lbs when you help her stand. But if you lift the hindquarters so the dog is on his feet and he then immediately starts to walk somewhere, that is a little extra pull on you, so you are supporting the 36 lbs plus the pull which would essentially translate into a few more pounds. I don't know how to calculate that. And you depend on the dog to be able to rise on his front legs by his own power when you lift the rear.

There are several ideas that might be tried for lifting. You may be a little beyond wanting to try such things, but I will post the links just in case.

There is something called a Doggie Lift. It has been out since at least 2016 but I only learned about it recently. I wish I had had it back in 2009 when I was caring for my down golden retriever. I have not tried the Doggie Lift and do not know if there are any issues. It is designed to work in a doorway with a traditional frame around the door. The main issue I see with it is that you need to have your dog in the doorway to use it. Here is the link.

viewtopic.php?f=22&t=21554

If you happen to be someone who owns a shop lift, it can be converted to a dog lift. I did that for my golden retriever. It can be a little inconvenient to have to use it every time, but it does save you having to lift the dog yourself. I never would have got my dog into a 4-wheel cart without it. I found it was especially helpful to get Merlin in his 2-wheel wheelchair, because I needed him to be on his feet and I needed him to stand still. By hooking his harness with the lift, it kept him standing in one place while I got him in the wheelchair.

http://www.handicappedpets.com/mediawiki/index.php?title=Engine_hoist_for_a_heavy_dog

This is another idea. By the time I tried it, it was almost too late as my back was already shot. I wish I had thought of it sooner. I found that I could use a tall wrought iron plant holder from Home Depot. I could hook his rear harness and anchor the base of the thing firmly in the carpet and brace it with my foot, and it allowed me to pull him to his feet in a different way than I had been doing. I do not know the physics of it, but it was easier to do than a normal suitcase lift. I will attach a stick figure drawing so you can see it. It did actually work. Once he was up, I had to drop the pole and then I still had to support him myself...but he was up! It was only for getting the dog up from lying down. I don't think it will work on a slippery floor. You need carpet to anchor it. In the picture, I drew it showing 2 hands on the pole. You can do it with 1 hand, which allows you to turn sideways and pull one-handed, putting less strain on your back.

viewtopic.php?f=22&t=12985

There was another way I found to try to lift him, which also worked well if I was careful.
https://handicappedpet.net/helppets/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=12503&p=64959#p64959 wrote:I have an upper back problem, which is different than usual--most people have lower back problems. I have found that one way I can get my dog up without straining myself is to half kneel, with one knee on the floor and the other bent. I rest my forearm on the bent knee (which serves as a table) and lift the dog by grabbing the rear harness he is wearing and doing a curl with my biceps. My elbow never leaves my knee, and I do not use my back at all.
Here was the drawing (not great but it gives the idea):
viewtopic.php?f=22&t=15423&p=82235#p82235

Here is a post describing what went wrong with this lifting method one time when I overextended.
viewtopic.php?f=30&t=12959

And here is a pulley system someone used with a rottweiler. It isn't a common hardware store pulley, they used a marine winch designed to lift boats out of the water.

viewtopic.php?f=66&t=21785

I have several pets, so when I lose one, it leaves a hole in my heart and life, but I do still have others. Some people go right out within a couple of weeks and get another one. Other people wait. Sooner or later you will probably find yourself looking at websites like Petfinder or the animal shelter or breed rescues where you might find a dog. Just because you are looking doesn't mean you have to adopt one right away, you can just look.

I don't think I've ever had 2 pets that reminded me of each other in their personality. They are very different, even if they are the same breed.
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