My Mom passed away

[Brutus's Mom]

My Mom passed away Feb. 14th after four days of us siting up with her when they would let us in and in waiting room when we could not see her.It should not of been except for Nursing Home neglect and abuse ,and I can not get any one to check it out. I got so upset a couple of hours before she died I went down from an asthma attack and very high blood pressure from stress, I was taken into ER and put on antstress medicine, and was made to take 3 pills in the ER. The hot line for elder abuse will not check it out as their was a death and said the hospital has to turn in to Police and if they do not then I can call and try to get it invesgatated. I am grieving and on medicine where I can not think and just do not know what to do.

[companchee]

My heart and prayers go out to you and your loss, this may not be the time to bring this up and I do not know where you live as to what state but most have a nursing home abuse hot line and a nursing home administrative board but I think before doing any of that once your nerves and health are some what better there are alot of good attorney's out there which deal strictly with any kind of nursing home or hospital or senior citizen abuse cases and I think that would be my first move and then go from there, but the lawyer can better inform you and you can usually get a free consiltation and if he feels you have a case will take the case on a contingency fee. I hope that will help, I know that it can never replace your loss but possibly you could on knowingly be helping another elderly person to be safe from any similar things happening to them. If you need someone to just talk to my email is in my profile, I am not in anyway a lawyer or assistant or anything like that but I at one time worked with the elderly.
Again I am sorry for your loss and I hope that what ever your higher power may be that he will see you through these difficult times.

God Bless

Angel and Angel's mom

[Brutus's Mom]

Thank you for all your help, everywhere I turn I hit road blocks, one place that investgates Nursing Home abuse and neglect can not help because she died and said the Hospital has to turn in to Police which they will not as they do not want to get involved, other places online need the adminatrators first and last name ,I do not know it as evey time I had to talk to any one or get into it with any one about the neglect ,I had to talk to the book keeper and I could tell I was on speaker phone. Now I am on 3 pills aday to keep me semi calm and can not think. They let her lay barely breathing for 3 days and she would be alive if they would of just got her help, I tried and was pushed off and told to leave. Thaaaaaaaank you for listening I feel so alone in this and am trying to grieve but hard to when I think about it should not of happened.

[connie]

my heart cries for you, your in my prayers hon.
i do know how you feel, my dad passed away in a nursing home, if not for me he would have been neglected. i work taking care of elderly in their homes now. i know for a fact in this state, adult abuse hotline is only for living. ( i have used it) but there is someway you can have her death looked into in any state.
i believe you must file a police report, no matter if hospital will.
if that doesn't work, contact a lawyer, they could tell you the steps to take. if that doesn't work, contact your congressman. our congressman here in my state has helped me and my family with my elderly mothers care, so i know they can.
i wish i had the words to make you feel better, but my dad has been gone since 91 and the pain is still there, words just don't help. just know we are here to listen and if i find any info that will help you, i will post it for you. i will ask my boss next week.
remember your in my prayers and take care of yourself, you getting sick isn't going to help , you need your strength for days ahead. i send you a big hug,
connie

[Cindidoxiemom]

I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Cindi

[GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily]

Oh, Brutus' Mom, I am so very sorry for your loss of you mom!
There are certain deaths which we expect, certain ones we do not, but a deep-seated dread for the ones which will and there is nothing we can do to stop it. And the sorrow is so profound.
I can tell you my dad nearly died from negligence in the 80s. When he did survive and re-habbed for months (they wanted to put him in a nursing home as they had robbed him of his mind and health, but he went home with my sister in a chartered jet, and her father-in-law went over every day and absolutely HOUNDED dad, who made a full recovery), we met with attorneys in Florida. The attorney said the case was a good one, but it would take the rest of my dad's life to fight it. HE said the hospital would put up a huge fight and we could even possibly lose at huge expense.
My dad made the decision not to fight it. Life is indeed too short.
So while what happens is so incredibly wrong, know that your mom loves you dearly and she is nearby. She loves her little girl. If you feel a warmth, a song, a quiet peace w hile sitting on the couch in the semi-dark, that is your mom. Believe.

[Brutus's Mom]

Thank you for all your kind words. I do not want money for what they did to her, a sorry would do. We went to pick up her things yesterday and the lady I had to do dealing with never spoke to us , just kept walking past smiling. ThankGod I am on 3 sedtives a day or I would of smacked her and came so close to anyway, hard to do with your brothers holding your arms down. It is just weird there are all kinds of places to turn in neglect and abuse unless the person dies then there is no place but the Police and they do not want to listen unless Hospital turns it in and they will not as it is to much trouble for their place to get invovled. She was not even close to her time to go ,that is what hurts, she was only there to be near my brother( her favorite!) who workes there as maintance man.You would of thought she would of gotten better care but she recieved the worst care and was basecally ignored.

[SandyNY]

I am so deeply sorry to hear of your loss. That is just insane that the services suppose to help refuse to investigate. And do they actually think a hospital would turn in a nursing home? Do your siblings want to pursue this? You have so much to deal with right now. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. If there is anything we can do to help; just hollar. Maybe we could all write letters to a congressman or something?? Let us know how you are doing...

[Brutus's Mom]

My siblings were so mad at first but now they are just in shock and the funeral is tomorow at 2, I think they just want to let it go as no proof they believe ,plus one brother works there and is scared for his job. They are getting mad at me because I can not let it go. Tomorrow will be so hard, at least she will not have all the tubes and resporator ,that was so hard to see. She went to my Dad on Valentines Day .

[Zorro]

First, let me express how sorry I am that your mom has passed away. It's painful to hear how much you're suffering with grief. I'm sending you prayers for peace, comfort and love in the days to come.

I am a registered nurse who has cared for adults and children in nursing homes for 20 years. I knew when I graduated from nursing college that this is what I wanted to do. Many of my colleagues couldn't understand why I didn't want to work in the hospitals; in those days a "nursing home nurse" was thought to have chosen her career caring for elderly, disabled and terminally-ill people because she wasn't smart enough to work in a hospital. But the people that I cared for over the years shared their wisdom, courage and love with me, and I found strength and hope in the lives that I became a part of. They showed me that disabilities can make a person stronger, better and more successful in a meaningful way. I realized that some people who are blind have better "vision" than I have, and that having two legs doesn't mean you're going to go far in this life. As I sat beside a 29 year old man who was dying of cancer while his 4 children and pregnant wife looked on, I thanked God for the opportunity to be there at his side and share the last moments of his life with his beautiful family.

Almost three years ago, when my male and female doves hatched a baby that was destined to be severely crippled, I remembered my patients who had taught me these lessons and I knew the little dove would be allright. And surely she is, she's the light of my life in her little "wheelchair" that I was able to make because I'd learned it was possible.

And two years ago, when I fell and severely injured my knee, I came to understand what a disability is to live with. Remembering the caring words of wisdom my patients offered over the years, I determined to make my life better because of it.

I'm so grateful to people like your mom; may she rest in peace forever.

Fiara

[Brutus's Mom]

Thank you so much for your kind kind words. I am so much better today, I am off of seditives as I am better plus I had a bad reaction to them. We have decided to not sue , my Mom and Dad are together now and had Valentine's together. Thank you again for the letter you wrote ,it helped me sooo much.