I think it's time

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JaynTinks
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Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2015 1:45 pm

I think it's time

Post by JaynTinks »

Last week Inca was 15 years old, We'd had her little party a bit early as I wasn't sure she was going to make it, then she picked up again but since yesterday she seems to have decided its time.
She only ate fresh chicken, not interested in playing with her puzzles or eating treats, usually even if she doesn't want her dinner she'll eat treats.

I contacted the cremation service for which I'd paid in advance a while back when I didn't think she was going to make it, but had no reply yet. I'm wanting a reply about when they can pick up Inca after the vet had PTS, so doesn't look like it will be today as its lunchtime already here. I think my brother was going away for Easter so unless I do it before this Friday he's not likely to be around if he hasn't already gone away and its my step-mum's birthday Friday so really didn't want to be having to visit anyone just after the event.

I'll cook her fresh chicken again for dinner later to see if I can tempt her to eat something. I'm on my last tin of doggy chicken soup used which is the only thing she's been drinking and that puppy milk which she likes and has extra vitamins in (can be given to nursing dogs having puppies too or old dogs).

The sores under her legs aren't healing as she's in nappies full time and I'm constantly putting cream on them or trying to get air to them some of the time and she's not walking in the cart anymore. her front legs seem weak too and been noticing blood in her wee and poo lately. As she's lost lots of muscle but still seems to have a very round rib area I'm suspecting cancer or something but wouldn't put her through chemo at her age. Her third eye has been covering her eye too despite using eye drops and looks like areas of her skull are sunken. Despite this she has stayed very bright mentally up to yesterday always keen to get up and come out with us and enjoying playing every day and eating, no problems with her appetite up until yesterday.

So I think its time, hoping the cremation service will get back to me soon as I paid in advance around £400 (UK pounds sterling) for private cremation and to get her ashes back in a cast iron black lab statue (she looks most like a black lab though she's a crossbreed) and can't afford to pay anyone else again to do it. I'll get an engraved little wooden heart too with some of her fur and ashes in, which will go inside a pyjama case teddy she's been sleeping with.

It's an heart breaking decision to make and I've nothing but cry all morning. All I can do now is hope reincarnation is real and dogs really can come back to the same person in their lifetime to be with them again. (as I've been reading loads about reincarnation and stories of how owners knew it was their dog that had come back) and hoping she'll also be so desperate to come back she'll appear on my doorstep (or on a walk) a few days after her physical body has died. :cry:
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critters
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Re: I think it's time

Post by critters »

I'm sorry. :cry: She's had a time of it, hasn't she? :wub:
JaynTinks
Posts: 64
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2015 1:45 pm

Re: I think it's time

Post by JaynTinks »

I did it yesterday morning. It was the most heart breaking decision I've ever had to make. I took Jay (my yuonger dog) out at 6am just round block and fed him and waited for vets to open then rang them to arrange it.

They were meant to come 10.30am-11am but didn't turn up until nearly 11.30am and the guy from cremation service had already turned up first! Luckily my brother had also arrived first so he kept chatting to him while i stayed with Inca.

She had sedation first so it wasn't traumatic for it and she just went to sleep. The man is coming back around 4pm with her ashes in the cast iron statue I got of her and a little heart with a some ashes and some of her fur in, that will go inside a pyjama case teddy I have.

I don't think it really hit me until until after I'd got back from taking Jay out as although he's been out on his own without her before, he always go looks for her as soon as he gets back in as she's usually there waiting for us to get home, and of course today she wasn't :( :cry:

Not sure how much he'll miss her he did look up to her, she was the only dog he was submissive to and she helped train him up as my next assistance dog. But she was my original canine Angel, first as my hearing dog then physical assistance as my Ataxia progressed.

This morning was hard. The moment you sleepily roll over to give your dog a cuddle and she's not there awoke me fully with tears in my eyes. I took Jay out at 6am so I didn't meet anyone who was used to seeing me with her bike trailer on, who would ask 'where's your trailer?, where's your other one?' etc. but still the little things catch you out such as when I go over a bumpy bit or turn to make sure the trailer can get round the corner and it's not there with her big brown eyes looking back at me. I feel my eyes filling up and try to tell myself to just pretend she's at home waiting for us to get back, to try and stem the flow the of tears incase anyone comes the other way.

JJ didn't run straight in looking for her, but the vet had told us to let him see her after she'd passed so he'd understand and not be looking for her, he knew something was wrong though, he sniffed her but didn't appear to be missing her, he never left my side though and any moment i feel tears pricking my eyes I feel a little nose pushing against my arm to remind me he's there for a cuddle if I need one.

I did catch him laid on her blankets though where she had always laid on the sofa, with his head against her teddy, when I went to see if he was coming to bed as he'd been laid in the lounge in the dark on his own for a while.

I wrote a Tribute to her the other day and put it on my blog.

Image
https://katilea.wordpress.com/2016/03/22/incas-tribute/
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CarolC
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Re: I think it's time

Post by CarolC »

You took such amazing care of her. No dog could have been luckier than to have had the home you gave her. She was able to have her full, long life, with more love than she could ever have dreamed of. I hope you will take comfort in knowing what a good life she had, and how much you gave her. You gave her everything possible while she was with you. She was an extraordinarily lucky dog. I am glad you have lots of pictures, they are precious. Very best wishes to you at this difficult time.
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critters
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Re: I think it's time

Post by critters »

I, too, let siblings visit with the dead one, if they wish. I'm sorry for your loss. :(
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