How do deal with people

[GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily]

You would be amazed at even the medical profession's opinion on quality. We destroy BLIND dogs here! So everyone who meets my deafblind says, oh that POOR dog! Looking at me like I am some sort of monster for keeping him alive. I read up everything I could lay my hands on re: Helen Keller. I had to peek into the life of someone who lives in silent darkness. What I discovered BLEW ME AWAY! The quality of life for silent darkness is OVERACHIEVING, EXCELLING, DREAMING, HOPING, LOVING, LIVING. And far exceeding anything mere mortals are capable of. This includes my Gabriel, and the late great AngelTillman who also lived in silent haze.

I set up education booths all over the place and showcase handicaps. I teach what they are capable of! Don't feel sorry for them, they don't!

You educate people every day with your example! Layla teaches acceptance, love, forgiveness, love, ability, love, she can do ANYTHING! She makes us all into better human beans!

LONG LIVE OUR H-CAPPERS!

[kristenv]

Hi Layla's mom,

Your post really struck me....and took me back to about 3 yrs ago when my little doxie boy Samy first ruptured a disc.
I awoke to find him "down" one morning unable to walk or stand he needed surgery and unfortunately had a very difficult post-op recovery requiring an additional surgery for a necrotic area on his back.
We were so blessed in finding a great surgeon at Purdue and also a phenomenal rehab vet as well. They were 90 miuntes away and but I have never once regretted the time or money on his recovery. He recovered wonderfully and was walking like a champ when he had a second rupture 9 months later (an unleashed neighbors dog ran up on us during a walk and Samy jumped at him, twisted and fell, just heartbreaking). With the exception of 2 dear friends everyone (including my mom) thought I was nuts for putting him "through" surgery again for spending all that money and time...I briefly questioned myself too...yet when I looked in his eyes I saw that I was doing the right thing. He is a joyful little boy who wanted to live and while I would have given anything for him NOT to have to go through surgery again it was the right choice for us.
Flash forward: He did great and recovered more quickly than from the first surgery. He has had 2 minor relapses of back pain episodes but as of today he walks and plays and loves life. Every day with him has been a gift. Every day, even the tough ones.

However I am a realist in that there are many people who do not place the value or prioirity on their pets..and sadly I see that in the "throw away" dogs can cats that come to the shelter where I volunteer. It makes me wonder who and what else are disposable in their lives as well....

It is not an easy course with having a dog with problems like Layla for sure. You will need to grow eyes on the back of your head because it is so scary trying to anticipate what will happen next. Even paralyzed Samy was like Houdini! Believe me it is not a great thing when your 13 lb doxie can outsmart you!! But you can and will get through this and in following your heart will make the best decisions for Layla.
So please take heart and stay focused on your baby........I pray she continues to do well!!

Kristen

[Layla's Mom]

Thank you for all your wonderful posts. I finally met some women from my new neighborhood on Saturday and had trouble talking to any of them about Layla. As soon as I mentioned that she is paralyzed but we're spending as much time as possible to rehabilitate her and get her walking again, they were obviously looking for a way out of the conversation. One woman told me "Oh your dog is like your baby when you don't have kids, but when you have a kid your dog is JUST A DOG" Layla will never be "just a dog" to me, she will always be an important part of our family no matter if we have kids or not. I don't believe that doggy souls are any less important than human souls and they can't be just thrown away when they're inconvenient.

[connie]

as usual i am late posting replys. lol. to answer your question, why bother, some will never understand. my own family threw a fit over the money i spent on surgery. but i told them not to worry, it wasn't left to them in my will anyways. lol
last summer i had cricket outside, he was running all over my yard, spinal walking, yeah he wobbles like a drunk, but he CAN RUN on all fours. anyways a man was walking down street, kinda dragging his left leg. he stopped at my fence and looked at cricket and said" what ya keeping that poor thing alive for". i replyed ####, CRICKET WALKS BETTER THAN YOU, WANT THE NAME OF HIS VET?' LOL. i like to think we are a special breed of humans, and hope to spread the news that our furkids ARE happy. everytime someone makes a remark that hurts you, just look at or think of your sweet baby and how much that pet loves you. it has been 4 yrs since cricket's surgery, i still get hurtful remarks. i took my elderly mom to our doctor, he was worried about my stress level while i was there. told me if i put cricket down i could get more rest. i said , heck doc, my mom's care is more trouble than cricket, SHOULD I PUT HER DOWN> lmao. my mom laughed and told him i meant it too. lol. anyways, what business is it of anyone, it is OUR PETs,OUR MONEY, OUR TIME, OUR DEVOTION.!
enjoy that baby like i do mine. i never regret a dime i spent, a moment of p.t. time, a minute of expressing time. like you , the doggie kisses, the doggie grins, the cuddling says it all. i tell everyone cricket doesn't do drugs, he don't drink, he doesn't hog the remote, don't tell me to shut up. he is always here when i come home from work, showering me with kisses. ####, if he had a job, he'd be the perfect male. lol.
what matters is you and that fur kid, the love can outweigh any hurt that is said. as long as cricket is not in pain , he stays alive. we send lots of hugs and doggie kisses and prayers for a full recovery.
connie and cricket

[CarolC]

One woman told me "Oh your dog is like your baby when you don't have kids, but when you have a kid your dog is JUST A DOG".

Whew! I feel sorry for her dog!

[GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily]

I've had kids and I've had dogs. My dogs are my four-legged family.I'm the odd man out.
And now I've lost my only two-legged child, ALL MY KIDS HAVE PAWS! (thank you ANIMALRESCUE SITE!)

Shop where it matters"

https://shop.theanimalrescuesite.com/st ... intJewelry

[L J]

so I'm new to this board, and had an incident this morning that made me want to reply to your post.

I have a 12 yr old Belgian Malanios, Elmo. He was my police dog for several years, and I kept him after he retired. He had an eye removed 5 yrs ago due to a tumor, so I have already dealt with the part blind issues. Even then people were telling me that it may be better to put him down than for him to lose an eye. Not to take anything away from any other dog owner, but he is more than just my dog, he was my cop partner. He saved my life, and fellow officers lives several times. He means the world to me.

Anyway- his back legs are going out, vet appointment in a couple days. Reading up on his symptoms, thinking its probably nerve damage to his back- I've been researching carts and such. I emailed a very good friend, who is very familiar with Elmo. Her reply? "Well you know you are going to have to put him down someday" Ya know- of course we all know reality- but to say it so coldly is just...well..cold.

Anyway, I too have struggled financially in the last few years, and understand that people will look at you when you chose to pay a vet rather than pay a bill. But, for me, he is my son- my world my everything and the rest of the people can jump off a bridge for all I care.

So how do I handle those people? I'm sometimes very blunt and just tell them I could care less what they think and I think the F word came out once too!

[CarolC]

Hey there!

There are a lot of people who *think* they are doing you a favor by suggesting you put the dog down, and that can include some vets. People *think* they are helping you by saying you should spare the work and expense of an aging or handicapped dog. Some of them are just repeating what they heard from their parents 30 or 40 years ago. Times have changed. You can give a dog a good life now when they have trouble walking, and I don't think there was ever a time when losing an eye was a good reason to put a dog down. To be honest, all those people who are talking it down right now will secretly be watching you to see how it goes. When they see your dog looking happy, they will file that away in their memory. Someday their dog, or the dog of someone they know, will have a health problem, and they will think back to how you cared for your dog and made it work, and may not be so quick to recommend putting him down. This sure as heck won't be the first police dog in a cart. They were even doing a TV program on this a while back.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=11526&hilit=police

http://www.ohmidog.com/2009/09/07/polic ... alk-again/

http://www.seattlekennelclub.org/seattl ... dogs-fund/

[Joan]

LJ, welcome to the site.

Wow what a story, your dog saved your life, and now you have the chance to save his..........and "friends" dont think you should bother? While I have never used the F word to anyone, probably thought worse things to myself. Maybe thats why my friends are limited to pet lovers now. But though they are few, they are valued.

keep up the good work, would love to see pics of your guy.

Hugs Joan

[Layla's Mom]

It's been a couple of months and I'd like to update and say everyone has eaten their words. Layla is such a loving happy cart dog now, doing anything a regular dog can do (well, except pee on her own lol). Everyone loves her and everyone loves what we have done for her! Before her cart arrived, I had gone to a movie with a friend, and my boyfriend Scott was waiting outside with Layla to pick me up. Layla was in a harness and sling. A couple came up to him, the woman in a wheelchair. They told him how special we are for giving Layla a chance, and that when we do have children it will teach them such an important lesson growing up with a disabled dog. When Scott told me about that later I had tears in my eyes. I know we did the right thing for our baby.

[sdrakkan]

That is our payment for taking care of disabled critters. It may be hard, but the rewards are endless. I'm so happy that Layla is doing so well. When I have kids (I don't want them really but my boyfriend does.) I can't wait to teach them about all this and how important animals are to me. Understanding and loving every aspect is something more people in the world need.

[Shaz]

Of course you did Layla's Mum, you acted with your Heart knowing your dog, huge congratulations for your achievement.

[Layla's Mom]

Thank you so much!

[SnowyWhiteGSD]

I have read and reread through this post and can't stand how INSENSITIVE people are to those of us who respect LIFE!!

I was also told the same things: Snowy is an OLD dog, I would have put her down. And to that I say: "WELL, thanks for that insight on how you respect life, remind me NEVER to put you in charge of my medical care!"

In reality I don't bother talking to people that don't understand that not every livign being is perfect, (not even them)!

Another comeback that works is: "Well... if I feel this way about "JUST a DOG" imagine how much I can tolerate from a human, even the insensitive remarks they make, why not just support me like I would support you!"

I do hope Layla is doing well, I am back because Snowy's issues are getting worse, and I have to make new plans for her, using a cart, etc. She still has that JEST for life in her eyes, and that is all I need to see!

Keep up the GREAT work, Layla's Mom (and all of you!)